Guest gzaerojon Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 i pulled an even bigger numpty the other night. stripping down my 3 piece split rims to get them refurbed kinda forgot to let the air out of one of the tires.. nothing damaged.... unless you count my underpants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Good effort wayne! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SupraMan1982 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 keep it real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamanC Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 what a great thread,,, the hamter one ( pepsi ) i found very funny One from me ( of my dad ) when i was about 6 yrs old, i was watching my dad and two of his mates about to test a gas cutting torch in the garden, my dad had the torch while his mates had hold of large piece of metal ( RSJ i think ) i remember my dad lighting the torch and seeing an evil blue flame, and he bent down to cut the RSJ,,,, now i may add at this point that this was not your normal cutting gear, as my dad and his mates was into underwater salvage, and this torch was designed to be used underwater at some depth. Upon touching the flame on the metal, there was a huge flash and bang,my dad was blown backwards taking part of garden fence with him, one of his mates was trying to pat out flames on his T'shirt while the other had lost a large mount of his hair, before he could pat out flames too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 Oh and i fogot to add, the gas cutting torch did indeed cut the RSJ in half and about 6" disappeared from the middle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kinny_b Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 i've got a stupid moment.... infact, its really REALLY stupid. a few months back, my fella let me have a drive of his supra (you all may stone me for this), i was pullin out of a car parking spot at b&q in st helens. well, there was (for a really random unknown reason) a police car parked behind be... well, me being the big stonkin idiot i am.... i put the soddin car in reverse by accident! first time id drove it, took me months to persuade him (he dont like me driving after i totalled my old stilo... oopsi!) well... the nice police man reacted rather well and the front end of his car being RAM-RAIDED BY A STUPID LITTLE WOMAN IN A BIG FAT CAR!!!!! (oopsi! defo' a blonde momnent ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 where's my rocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerry Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I once tried to bite the end off a tube of Superglue that had got clogged up. Any story that starts with this sentence is going to be fun - brilliant Jake .. (see page 1). Ok, a couple from me... my stupid moments usually include something sharp (perhaps I should give up my hobby (OK obsession) of epee fencing now) ! They also usually result from being impatient ... 1, Doing the crappy job of defrosting our fridge-freezer I would have to either A) leave it unplugged overnight or B) help it to defrost quicker I decided on the latter, so first tried levering off the ice build up with the back of a spoon, worked, but not quick enough. What I needed was something sharp ! so a bread knife was found and used carefully which was better. This worked well but was still to slow and my weekend was flashing in front of my eyes, so a trip to the draw found me with a rolling pin ! This was the jobby, bread knife and rolling pin worked like a dream and the ice was flying everywhere (you know what' coming)... Well after the loud pitched hiss of gas in my face I had the job of letting Soo know that I had just stabbed to death our (fairly new) fridge freezer.. Curry's here we come... The second was similar as it involved me, ice and a sharp object. Middle winter, garden pond frozen over, worried about the fish etc. Gave a little bash on the pond with a boot, but no, the ice was to thick, tried a hammer and still just managed to hit a few chips off it -pi**ed off now got the axe from the shed and gave it a mighty swing.... that worked ! Just whistled through the ice like it wasn't there, then straight through water (didn't think about that) and then on through the bottom of the pond liner... From then on the fish didn't worry about the frost, just how to swim in 3" of muddy water ! Won't go on, but could mention the electric hedge trimmer / ladder / pond incident or the inside fire wood chopping drama (large dentists bill). There must be a moral to the above, but can't think of it now and I need to carry on laying this carpet - now where's my stanley ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 haha classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Today, as I was about to take some rubbish to the local dump, I managed to fall out of my own house. I don't know why, one moment I was walking through the doorway, the next I was tumbling across the front lawn muddying up my new clothes. Oh, gatso, breaking ice by thumping it can kill the fish with the shockwave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voo51 Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Had a stupid one today. Got my wirless router from Wanadoo. Spent three hours trying to set it up. rang up Wanadoo. I was on the phone for 35 minuted going through everything again, then accidently disconected the phone line and cut the guy off(who was useless anyway!) ithen rung back in even more of a strop spoke to a lovely guy who advised me straight away to ring my manufacturer. I rung them and turns out i didn't press the wifi on button on my laptop. Felt a right pillok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Had a stupid one today. Got my wirless router from Wanadoo. Spent three hours trying to set it up. rang up Wanadoo. I was on the phone for 35 minuted going through everything again, then accidently disconected the phone line and cut the guy off(who was useless anyway!) ithen rung back in even more of a strop spoke to a lovely guy who advised me straight away to ring my manufacturer. I rung them and turns out i didn't press the wifi on button on my laptop. Felt a right pillok! ...and not forgetting your Santa Pod Advert post in the middle of an Ebay thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I rung them and turns out i didn't press the wifi on button on my laptop. Felt a right pillok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voo51 Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 ...and not forgetting your Santa Pod Advert post in the middle of an Ebay thread! Yep, it is definately one of those days!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Just remembered something i done years ago, I was working under the bonnet of my first car, a Fiat Strada ( last Fiat i will ever own ) and i was giving her a Redex treatment, so some went into the tank, a measure in the carb, and then had the plugs out to treat the pots. put the right amounts in each pot, left it, then on instructions it stated hold cloth over plug holes and turn enginge over, as i ws on my own i wedged various bits of rag in each, and turned her over, but as soon as i turned the key, a little voice in the back of my head said "what about the compression you f*#kwit " next thing i saw was a big red cloud appear around the bonnet,,, f#*king Redex everywhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doeboy Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Ok got one to match that... It involved an fire Explosion, and my laying a 5ft woman! As a boy my dad often gave me chores to do, such as mowing lawns etc...anyway one saturday afternoon, he asked to build a bonfire and burn the odd hedge cuttings and twigs etc. I duely got on with this task as i loved setting fire to everything anyway!. Once i had 10 ft flames leaping out of the fire pit i was satisfied dad would be pleased with my efforts. SO i grabbed his garage bin, which was a carboard box full of crap. I through it on the fire, just a dad said.."no...not the box!". I turned and faced the fire, when an almighty explosion blown me 5 feet acroos the garden and took out a 5ft stone woman holding a jug above her head (as they do), spinning during the fall, so iwas then trapped beneath this white marble woman...Hhmmm wasnt quite what i had in mind for my first lay!!! It turns out dad decided to clear out all his semi empty paint spray cans and old wd40's. Cheers..now he tells me, still the same old story comes up every year at christmas time. My eyebows werent too clever after that i tell you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 I was out in Sweden way up in the arctic circle doing cold climate testing on a prototype new F*rd. Myself & the other chap decided to take a break & found a particularly pleasant spot in the middle of a forest (as most of it is) with a great view over a frozen lake, approximately 30 miles from anywhere or anyone. Even though it was -40C and crisper than a frozen Toffee crisp dipped in liquid nitrogen we decided to take a short stroll down to the frozen lake a couple of minutes walk away. I got out, got something out of the boot & we started to walk to the lake. My mate says "have you locked the car??". I realise I haven't so I get the key out of my pocket & press the keyfob. It doesn't work, so I try again..... No luck. 'Strange' I think, so I go back to the car & use the key to lock it......... Its only then I see that the key is in the ignition & I'd used the hire car key (also a F*rd) to lock the doors (cos any F*rd key will lock any F*rd). At this point I realise we're bo*loxed. There's no mobile phone reception & although we're suited up like the Stay Puffed marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, we'll have no chance of surviving more than a couple of hours. Have you ever tried to dig in ground at -40C to try to find a rock??? So I drove back with the heating on full blast & a cold draught coming from the broken quarterlight. What an arse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Would the hire car key not have unlocked the doors. Im assuming it would seeing as it locked them?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkTheBoy Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 not me this time, but my dad. doing some DIY with his trusted Black & Decker belt sander and decided to hold the sander in the work bench using the lock button to keep the belt running at full power whilst he lent over to grab a towel. Opppsss.... first it grabbed his jumper, then t-shirt and now firmly attached to his clothing slowly ran up his chest and finally started to clog up with junk and stop just under his chin. I was in the kitchen drinking tea when I saw my dad waddling down the path with a sander and work mate attached to his chest. After I unscrewed the nuts holding the sander case and cut off his shirt and jumper I managed to pull the unit off. Dad had nice smooth red bar running across his chest For about a month later I called him robin (as in Robin red breast) LMFAO !!!! :rlol: Funniest thing I've heard for ages!!! Poor old dad hey? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carl0s Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I've got two stupid moments. Dropping my gas soldering iron *under* the passenger seat. That hollow carpet burns fast. Doing my oil change but draining the transmission fluid instead. d'oh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Would the hire car key not have unlocked the doors. Im assuming it would seeing as it locked them?? Nope, any F*rd key will lock any F*rd car, but only the correct one will unlock it What a great design by F*rd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSoarer2.5TT Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 ummmmmmmmmmmmmm Getting pulled by the fuzz and giving them the rope to hang me 11 Months to go Gone quite quick really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suprasurrey Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 Years and years ago when I was about 11 I desperately wanted some `cow horn` handlebars for my bike. My Dad was dead against the idea and wouldn`t take me to buy some, so I purchased some on the sly from a friend at school. I rode round to his house where we fitted said handlebars and I set off home all chuffed with my latest custom accessory. Riding down my road I notice Dad outside the house messing about with the car and I thought `I`ll show him, I`ll whiz past him without holding on to the handlebars`I shot past him, arms folded, to be faced with two gate posts which were narrower than the handlebars! The bike stopped instantly, I went through the air as gracefully as a sack of spuds and slid face first along the sharp concrete path for what seeemed like an eternity. I ground the skin off of my chin, palms, elbows and knees, all of which were scrubbed free of dirt by Mum a little while later! To add insult to injury I was made to help Dad repair the brick built gate post that had cracked during the incident!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ark Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 Years and years ago when I was about 11 I desperately wanted some `cow horn` handlebars for my bike. My Dad was dead against the idea and wouldn`t take me to buy some, so I purchased some on the sly from a friend at school. I rode round to his house where we fitted said handlebars and I set off home all chuffed with my latest custom accessory. Riding down my road I notice Dad outside the house messing about with the car and I thought `I`ll show him, I`ll whiz past him without holding on to the handlebars`I shot past him, arms folded, to be faced with two gate posts which were narrower than the handlebars! The bike stopped instantly, I went through the air as gracefully as a sack of spuds and slid face first along the sharp concrete path for what seeemed like an eternity. I ground the skin off of my chin, palms, elbows and knees, all of which were scrubbed free of dirt by Mum a little while later! To add insult to injury I was made to help Dad repair the brick built gate post that had cracked during the incident!!! OUCH!! Reminds me of a very similar incident - just tooling around on the bike with some mates one time, I must have been about 6 or 7. We'd mastered riding with your feet off the pedals - easy. We managed no hands for a short distance (we hadn't learned how to just ride and ride with no hands yet). So the next thing to try was obviously no hands AND no feet. Surprise surprise, I came off the bike, face planted in the gravel - blood everywhere. I think that's where I get my good looks from The upside was that mum wouldn't let me go to school for a week - my face wouldn't move with all the scabs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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