Marty Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Last joke before i go read all the other threads... A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Why are cyclones and tornados usually named after women? Because they don’t come very often but when they do come, they make a hell of a noise and when they go, they take half your house with them WHY CAN’T YOU TRUST WOMEN? How can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die? WHY DO MEN FART MORE THAN WOMEN? Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE THEIR WIVES? They want to. WHY DO WOMEN CLOSE THEIR EYES DURING SEX? They can’t stand to see a man having a good time. WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING? Because they don’t have balls. WHY DO WOMEN WEAR MAKE UP & PERFUME? Because they’re ugly and they smell. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN A WOMAN IS PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN? Marriage. Yeah add a couple of 'men' ones in there would you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Yeah add a couple of 'men' ones in there would you? They were out my women joke file You gotta admit, theres some funny ones ... I'll find some men jokes, just for you That must've taken you ages to do all that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Ian Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Last joke before i go read all the other threads... A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle". LOL good one Reet guys n gals im away to my pit got work in the morning aaaaarrrggghhhh !! Cheers Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burna Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Thought this would have been won by now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyotasuprauk Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Cant believe it jumped up to this many replies so quick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2JG Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Can't be assed to read all the pages, so who won?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p111ddy Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 so who won then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnK Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Bahh you goto bed because you have to be up for work early...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 did anyone win or is it still a rumbling?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitesupraboy2 Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 The winner is............. I'll let Mawby say when he is on but well done everyone you hit 1500 posts very quickly. Dont you people have anything better to do with your time! Congratulations to the winner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamer Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Tease Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rik Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Dont you people have anything better to do with your time! Congratulations to the winner No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 I am sooooooo tired now. and still no results, lol. ohwell back to my Shreddies and Spongebob Squarepants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Is it worth posting now? Has the winner been decided or is it yet be? H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra matt Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 did i win ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uk-rich Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Awwww plop!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baldy Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 did i win? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyb10supra Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 what did I miss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rik Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 what did I miss You really need to read the last 108 pages to get the whole story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamer Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Only 41 pages on my browser..... You should increase the amount of posts visible per page in your control panel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markymark Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Only 41 pages on my browser..... You should increase the amount of posts visible per page in your control panel. you learn something new every day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 oooo Mawby is here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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