ellis Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Branners - Hello New Member. New Member: Who are you? Branners: I am Branners. I created The Forum. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process of not using the search function has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably dense. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also irrelevant. New Member: Should I stick with my NA or will adding a cone filter radically up the power? Branners: Your purchase of the NA is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of The Forum. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here. New Member: You haven't answered my question fella. Branners: Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others. New Member: Others? What others? How many? Branners: The Forum is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version. New Member: Six versions? This is bull****."* There are only two possible explanations right, either new members are too lazy to use the search function, or it simply doesn’t exist. Branners: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly's systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations. New Member: Choice. The problem's choice isn’t it. Search or don’t search. NA or TT? TT or single. Stock or hybrids? Neons or graphix? 17s or 25s? Branners: The first Forum I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equaled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every new member, thus I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your questions about increasing the power of an NA and 20" alloys. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive older member, initially created to investigate certain aspects of hard drinking and buggery. If I am the father of the forum, he would undoubtedly be its mother. New Member: Jazz? Surely not Burna! Branners: Please. As I was saying, he stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all members accepted the answers in the Technical Section, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level which appeared to be the level at which they mostly functioned. While this answer sufficed, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the Forum itself. Ergo, those that refused the answers, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster. New Member: This is about Lemsip innit?. Or Hovis? Branners: You are here because The FAQ Section is about to be destroyed. Its every answer and tip deleted, its entire existence eradicated. New Member: What’s the FAQ Section? Never seen it. Branners - Denial is the most predictable of all new member's responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have deleted it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it. The function of the One True Member is now to return to the Forum, allowing a temporary dissemination of the denseness and stupidity you carry, reinserting your prime dumbass question. After which you will be required to select from the Forum 23 individuals: 8 owners with JDM cars, 8 with UK cars, 6 with big power singles and 1 with a car too hideous to describe, to rebuild the FAQ Section. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash deleting everyone connected to the Forum, which coupled with the extermination of the FAQ Section will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire MKIV following. New Member: You won't let that happen, you can't. You need our 10 quid fees to keep Burna in penicillin! Branners: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility for the deletion of every member on the Forum. New Member looks blank. Branners: It is interesting reading your reactions. Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of the members, facilitating the function of the One True Member. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, blind stupidity. *Images of a Supra drifting appear on the monitors* New Member: My car!! Branners: Apropos, she entered your life and will drain you of every penny you have. New Member: No! Branners: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end. There are two options. Choice 1 leads to the Search function and the FAQ Section, and the salvation of The Forum. Choice 2 leads back to the real world, your 'motor' as you so eloquently put it, and to the end of your membership. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you're going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: she will handle like a pig on roller skates on 20" wheels, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. New Member: It'll look the dogs though and my Veilside kit looks great in purple flip! Branners: Humph. Hope, it is the quintessential Supra owner's delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness. New Member: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet at JapFest. Branners: We won't. 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Thorin Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Ah the age old story. As true today as it was in 2001! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 (edited) Waaay too much text for mobile-tastic browsers. Excellent. If only we had a Club Car that doesn't have 20" wheels? Edited July 27, 2020 by David P (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Bullitt Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 Like that E, far too much free time on your hands. How you doing? Still driving the club car? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellis Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 Like that E, far too much free time on your hands. How you doing? Still driving the club car? I did it years ago but updated it for 2020!! I'm still lurking. Sadly the Club Car is somewhat motionless due to very annoying but non-cured problem. Due to be heading off on a trailer very soon to get her up in the air and try and get her going again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wile e coyote Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 I do worry about you sometimes Ellis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bignum Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Lol thats funny dude:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellis Posted August 13, 2020 Author Share Posted August 13, 2020 I do worry about you sometimes Ellis Get to the back of the queue mate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Bullitt Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 I did it years ago but updated it for 2020!! I'm still lurking. Sadly the Club Car is somewhat motionless due to very annoying but non-cured problem. Due to be heading off on a trailer very soon to get her up in the air and try and get her going again. Related to the 20” wheels by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axl Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 Mind blown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyson Posted August 16, 2020 Share Posted August 16, 2020 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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