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Just Been To See Jimmy Carr


mr lover
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Would do Dr :), but unfortunately I'm only on a temporary net connection that has a very small allowance.

 

Here you go ;) Just a few, a lot better with him telling them though. A lot of it's in the timing!

 

One thing Jimmy Carr is amazing at is dealing with hecklers! He encourages the audience to shout out at the beginning of gigs and the way he handles them is brilliant! It made the show for me. :)

 

 

 

 

Jimmy Carr Quotes...

 

I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

 

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

 

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

 

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

 

I did a gig in the US once for the homeless. I said "It's nice to see so many bums on seats".

 

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

 

There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

 

There’s been a lot of talk about genetic engineering I was wondering, is it wrong to breed piglets specifically for the purposes of weaning paedophiles off babies, only I'm thinking of starting a company called "They'll squeal, but not to the cops".

 

 

I'd like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on groceries.

 

 

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.

 

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol™.

 

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...

 

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

 

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.

 

A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

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I tried to watch the Frankie Boyle dvd over the weekend and made it 20 minutes in before it had to go off.... very disappointed, as I'd heard he was really good and completely unlike he is on Mock the Week (which is weak to mild at best imo).

 

It was basically a string of seemingly 'shocking' statements without any charm, thought or delivery. He did the 'old skool' have a go at the audience thing before the act started. Fair enough he 'over steps the mark' etc. but I'm sure any random person could read out his material and have probably made more of it.

 

Jimmy Carr is in a class of his own these days.

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I tried to watch the Frankie Boyle dvd over the weekend and made it 20 minutes in before it had to go off.... very disappointed, as I'd heard he was really good and completely unlike he is on Mock the Week (which is weak to mild at best imo).

 

I made it through to the end, but I agree he seemed to fall flat on his face. Not impressed.

 

Enough of the Jimmy Carr spoilers though please - i've got tickets to see him later in the year.

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At the Hammersmith Apollo, a very clever and very funny man :D

 

Definatley worth going to see him :)

 

I'd pay to see him :)

 

I remember seeing him in .... Hastings a couple of years ago. One of my favourite stand-ups, alongside Michael McIntyre!

 

Just very recently bought and watched JC's latest DVD, which is very good, as is Michael McIntyre's :D

 

I tried to watch the Frankie Boyle dvd over the weekend and made it 20 minutes in before it had to go off.... very disappointed, as I'd heard he was really good and completely unlike he is on Mock the Week (which is weak to mild at best imo).

 

It was basically a string of seemingly 'shocking' statements without any charm, thought or delivery. He did the 'old skool' have a go at the audience thing before the act started. Fair enough he 'over steps the mark' etc. but I'm sure any random person could read out his material and have probably made more of it.

 

Jimmy Carr is in a class of his own these days.

 

Funny you should mention Frankie Boyle. I refrained from buying his DVD and bought Russel Howard's instead, which again is great.

 

Just Bill Bailey & Tim Vine to go and that's my stand up comedy DVDs sorted, for this month :)

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Well, I was f**king this little girl in the face.....

 

Definitely the funniest moment of that particular show.

 

Have been trying unsuccessfully for ages to get tickets to see him at the Hammersmith Apollo and the Bloomsbury Theatre.

 

Is it wrong that I aim to be the victim of one of his many scything put-downs on the DVDs?

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