A lawyer went duck hunting in rural Nebraska. He shot and dropped a bird,
but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up
on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not
coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I'm one of the best trial attorneys in
Nebraska and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle
disputes in these parts of Nebraska. We settle small
disagreements like this with the Husker Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's that?"
The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land,
first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so
on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and
decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by
the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up
to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of this heavy
steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his
knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal
gushing from his mouth.
The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his
rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer
summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his
face with the arm of his jacket, he said "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my
turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."