pump gas pete

F*** Me!!!! Its good but THAT good. Have you got a 1/4 time for my little red book. I am writing the entries down. Peter

I have a B+M. Its been fine .

Thanks I have put ou in my book

Bondango what speed terminal?

Michael many a true word spoken in jest!!! I hope that you do not win the on the race prediction. Your dyno prediction is invalid ......If we don't run 700 then we will put the prize off until car is "fixed" and does run above 700. Assuming we have not lunched the box on the dyno in which case rule 78 subsection c item 9 will be invoked which in the extended rules available for this competition states ....quite clearly.....and I quote " no person shall win the prize if that person shall have been deemed to have put a jinx on the car" peter

er you are not going to believe me but......I have no idea. I believe it is a size up from Usmans so does 76 make sense?

Darren will NEVER believe me. The chance to win £150 and not one taker....not one....mmmm What information would you like to start your guesses?

I make no further comment than that I am further right than Ghengis Khan and I will not participate in some threads for fear of arrest. I am watching the country I served.... disintergrate Peter

I did not write it but I would love to have done!! It came from my friend in Jersey . She gets lots of bits like this. I can now cut and paste.....there will no stopping me..... "Darren Ive cut and pasted the exhaust system while you have been on holiday what do you think?" Why have you not entered the competition? Peter

Gulp! We have a veilside inlet but no nos. 853 - 75 = 778 and we ran a 769.....but he has wheel loss on rollers where as we were hub so did not. It could be a close run thing . Was this on Pump? Has it run the quarter.....times / speeds info?

how about a max on five predictions per category. PS I am here at work paying bills an doing statements and I have to say its boring me rigid. Someone stick their neck out.....

it was sent to me by a friend in Jersey. As was the grasshopper one. Now i have figured out cut and paste.....i'm old remember....will share any future quality ones.

Subject: The Squirrel and the Grasshopper REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE BRITISH VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. The British press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London. In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards. A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'. The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK. The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister. The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom. The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds. ********

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and read on. Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....) Dear Cretins, I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office: My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme. Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees. Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats. John compalint letter

Last post for a little while as I have to do some work to earn the money for these wunnerful wunnerful prizes. Competition No1 £50 to the person who guesses the right BHP of "Supranatural " on the Hub Dyno that we have not sorted out yet . The only alterations on the engine since the last Dyno run will be... 1200cc injectors....billet crank (same stroke)...er ...new rods.....pistons....I think they are HKS but don't quote me and some more heat and air management stuff. Oh and EVERYTHING is balanced. The competition is valid for figures on the day PROVIDING we do not have a "problem" that stops us running beyond 700rhhp. (In that event competition rolls over to the next session when the problem is cured.) Competition No2, This is connected in a roundabout way to No 1. We want to get the car out at JAE on Oct. 8 Our target is to have the quickest Pump Gas Supra 6 speed in the UK. So no pressure then! In an ideal world we could give Gaz a hard time in the "Envy" Supra but......... I am old.....and have not driven the car for two years....its unsorted....I have not been up the strip for 3/4 years.....a couple of the things I would like on the car won't be on the car.....it may rain.....I may not be in the mood..... So the competion is £50 for the closest guess to elapsed time the car does on the day........and £50 for the closest to the terminal speed the car does on the day. I have been posting clues for a couple of weeks for this competition but as Gaz brought the subject of JAE up well....sod it lets go for it!!! Since the OK from Darren to get the car ready for then I have shuffled space around at work for the table tennis table.....speeds reactions and may lose me a few pounds.....every hundredth helpeth! I will post other bits and pieces which may be of use to you ast o what WE think it will run and what power it will make. Good Luck ps We will ask MonkeyMark keeper of the MKIV archive to adjudicate on the winner/winners. Peter

I've just dropped Darren and his family off at the airport and he has given me a list of instructions. My tasks are to be completed by his return!!! Well if we want to debut the car at JAE I DO need some suggestions. For reasons we do not need to rake over here I NEED to know of available Hub Dynos in the South. We live in North London. We will have our own mapper....possibly......but suggestions will be gratefully received. The map we have is set for 1000cc injectors and we are fitting 1200cc 'cos the others were working hard!! We will need the dyno all day.....as we are running in on it as well !! Suggestions other than TH** please.

SupraNatural

Yes ....thanks.....and we should be ready for the Jap show Peter

Oh good. Have just seen car and Darrens progress on same. All on schedule. Peter

Pink Floyd Leonard Cohen Bob Dylan Eva Cassidy Classical Not necessarily in order of preference

Ahhh....This is what Gaz was talking about. With luck and fingers crossed we will debut "SupraNatural" here. Is it a run what u brung? Peter

No No you don't understand Lee T ..I AM A WIDE BODY as well. (Middle Age Spread) Bobbeh, on our 12.26 run an eternity ago it ran a bye. Darren and others could hear the wheels spinning up in 1st....2nd....3rd....4th....5th...... We had definite issues with wheelspin. We hope to have cured it with a couple of changes in downforce. Our road tyres are only 315s but........ In our stock to be brought out when ness. we have a lightweight set of wheels , made for us Stateside , which at the time they were made , were the widest they had made for a Supra.....anywhere. We can now fit our 345 BF Goodrich Drag radials UNDER the arches. We await developments on the wheelspin front now!!! I have just nipped upstairs at the factory to look at them.....yummy. Gaz.....to put a date on coming out is to invite stress and dissapointment. When we are ready you will be amongst the first to know. Peter Peter

OK ,,,, I am going to go with the Envy 10.4 but er......can I pass on the 145 'cos that IS a very good top end. My wide body (and my Wide body) may just take the edge off our top end. I am champing at the bit 'cos being the competitive soul I am I have real and imagined scores to settle. Please God don't let me blow it up.... Please God don't let me blow it up.... Please God don't let me blow it up...... Bobbeh is quite right .... I want to drive to the track , on pump gas ,race and drive home. The rear seats ARE removed but have been replaced by 10" subs which Darren assures me is the only way to listen to Leonard Cohen. One other race concession we will have to make is rear wheels. We will be taking a set up with us 'cos I have no wish to wear out my road tyres and the race ones have a road life of 3kmiles. We would like to be the quickest/fastest private Supra. 6 weeks .............it seems like a lifetime.

It is very easily done but I am confused. I asked what the drag racing record was for a 6 speed Supra in the UK. I like to have targets to aim at. Gaz kindly posted his time see below. Pete, When we drag race we only run race fuel for safety, and power. We make about the same power on Optimax though. We've ran 10.409 @ 145mph at Pod before on race fuel. Gaz. __________________ envyperformance.com The Performance Parts Company Well now I am confused because I thought that race fuel gave a fair degree of extra horsepower "safely". (100 extra in Usmans case) and yet it appears they make the same. Is the map backed right off? If the ENVY car makes the same power on Optimax as race fuel are we going to have to chase 10.4 ? I want to find out , still , who has the UK record on PUMP GAS (OPTIMAX) Any one help? Peter

Front rank FIRE! Middle rank FIRE!! Rear rank FIRE!!! Front rank FIRE! Middle rank FIRE!! Rear rank FIRE!!! Front rank FIRE! etc. etc......my favourite bit from "ZULU"