bmx1lew Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 i knew cos i got up after to go lay a cable. best one is when you put the quilt cover over the lasses head then trap her why you feed her a spoon of cabbage flavored air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chumpalot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 i knew cos i got up after to go lay a cable. best one is when you put the quilt cover over the lasses head then trap her why you feed her a spoon of cabbage flavored air. That's otherwise known as a Dutch Oven isn't it? Or am I getting grossly confused with someone else here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonkin Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 What a wicked thread!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Also bloody anoying as once you're awake you need to go for a bloody wizz... Oh I so hate that. You try to convince yourself you don't need to go and lay in a position that has least pressure on your bladder. Then in your half asleep state you start hallucinating that you're in a mens toilet and about to go in the urinal or something when something triggers in your mind and thinks "No! Don't wet the bed!" and you have to get up anyway. For some reason I can still recall the feeling of having wet my pants as a small child. There's something strangely warming and comforting about the feeling....squelchy shoes aside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartworm Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Oh I so hate that. You try to convince yourself you don't need to go and lay in a position that has least pressure on your bladder. Then in your half asleep state you start hallucinating that you're in a mens toilet and about to go in the urinal or something when something triggers in your mind and thinks "No! Don't wet the bed!" and you have to get up anyway. For some reason I can still recall the feeling of having wet my pants as a small child. There's something strangely warming and comforting about the feeling....squelchy shoes aside. I dont want to get old:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyB Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 lol this thread is hilarious! im so damn immature that i laugh at even the thought of some of the things on here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattanna Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 LOL! apparently at my work (aircraft engineering) a cabin engineer's farts were so bad it could be smelt all the way down the entire length of the aircraft (747) and he was told to go home LMFAO!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieran Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Oh I so hate that. You try to convince yourself you don't need to go and lay in a position that has least pressure on your bladder. Then in your half asleep state you start hallucinating that you're in a mens toilet and about to go in the urinal or something when something triggers in your mind and thinks "No! Don't wet the bed!" and you have to get up anyway. Had a similar problem last night, but without the hallucinations, just half an hour of wondering how much I really needed to piss before deciding that I'd have to go otherwise I'd never be able to go back to sleep for fear of pissing all over myself. Back on to farts, don't think I've ever woke myself up, but I've definitely heard next door laughing after I've let a beer and curry-induced trump go. Also, my dad used to wake himself up with his snoring. Which amused me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CoolsBlue Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 it happens becuase your body relaxes..therefore, POW! you let one rip..also dead bodies do it:S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmx1lew Posted October 3, 2007 Author Share Posted October 3, 2007 i have come to the conclusion that it was due to eating at nandos, mmmm tasty meat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muffleman Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Mine appears to be down to breathing in and out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miko_supra Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 has anyone tried swallowing some air yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suprafan72 Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I Remember seeing a girl once.. it was the first time she stayed over at mine.. We went out drinking beer and went for a curry afterwards... I remember after doing the honourly deed... We both drifted off then she woke me saying i had done the longest smelliest Fart she had ever heard.... I was so embarrassed but secretly pissing myself laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 also dead bodies do it:S Sounds like you are using too much lube!!..... Maybe that joke was a step too far.....Apologies to all who are offended!! H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chumpalot Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I'm always farting in my sleep, I've lost loads of girlfriends over it and some don't like it that I fart at the point of climax... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muffleman Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I fart at the point of climax... Now THAT is a moment killer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chumpalot Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 well not for me, I really like it - but girls seem to think it's wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 well not for me, I really like it - but girls seem to think it's wrong Aww bless That Facts about Farts website was hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I woke up the other week from a bad dream convinced I'd just been shot Then the smell hit me......... must have been friendly fire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muffleman Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyB Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 I woke up the other week from a bad dream convinced I'd just been shot Then the smell hit me......... must have been friendly fire Lol still love this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazla Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 Oh I so hate that. You try to convince yourself you don't need to go and lay in a position that has least pressure on your bladder. Then in your half asleep state you start hallucinating that you're in a mens toilet and about to go in the urinal or something when something triggers in your mind and thinks "No! Don't wet the bed!" and you have to get up anyway. For some reason I can still recall the feeling of having wet my pants as a small child. There's something strangely warming and comforting about the feeling....squelchy shoes aside. Yea i know what you mean. You wanna try pissing while your in a wet suit:innocent: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missile Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 Ewwww. But I totaly Know what you mean.... :sly: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazla Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 Whilst were on the subject of pi$$ing and $hiting, I once $hat on the sofa when i was really ill. I'd come back off holiday with a very serious bug which gave me the clackers for 3 weeks. I had to go for tests and allsorts because we've never had the bug in this country, So they say. Well i hadn't eaten for 2 days stright and so i had some toast then slowly drifted off to sleep on the sofa, 5 minutes later i was in that half sleep mode and the funny thing was is that i kind of knew i was following through and just let it out:blink: I jumped up and it was all up my arse and on the cushions as i only had my boxers on. Jemma went absolutly crazy:d Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyB Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 LOL What was the bug in the end then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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