It was time for Father Ted's Saturday night bath and the young nun,
Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the
old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look
at Father Ted's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told
her to do, and pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the
Saturday night bath had gone.
"Oh sister", said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved".
"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.
"Well, when Father Ted was soaking in the bath, he asked me to
Wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his
legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven".
"Did he now?" said the old nun dryly.
Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father Ted said that if the Key
to Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and
I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. Then Father Ted guided
his Key to Heaven into my lock".
"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more dryly.
"At first it hurt terribly, but Father Ted said that the pathway
to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon
swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt good being saved".
"That wicked old git" said the old nun. "He told ME it was
Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years"