Married Life
A man and a woman, who had never met before but were both married to
other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping
compartment on an overnight sleeper-train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were
both very tired and fell asleep quickly He was in the upper bunk and
she was in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but could you reach into the
cupboard to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold up here."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend
that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own f***ing blanket!"
There was a stunned silence.
Then he farted
Coma Patient Dies.....
_____
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath.
One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a
slight response on the monitor when she touched her.
They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement.....
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As
crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and
bring her out of the coma."
The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they'd close the
curtains for privacy.
The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart
rate.
The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried.
The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked !!
Head and Shoulders
There's a blonde 'n a brunette riding in an elevator when it stops on
the 6th floor and a man gets on.
Well, they notice that he has some dandruff on his shoulder but
politely decline to say anything until the man leaves two floors later.
The brunette then turns to the blonde 'n says, "someone needs to give
that poor guy some Head 'n Shoulders." To which the blonde replies,
"How do you give shoulders?"