Lbm Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. `It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope', said Jamal, aged 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westcoaster Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 and another: Oxo have developed a new cube in support of the England team. It has a white wrapper with a red cross. It is called "Laughing stock". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiten55 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 little girls in court to decide who gets custody. The Judge asks: "would you like to live with your mummy?" "no" comes the reply. "why not?" ask the judge. "she beats me :(" says the girl. "ok so would you like to live with your daddy?" asks the judge. "no" says the girl. "why not?" asks the judge. "he beats me :(" comes the reply again. "well then who would you like to live with?" enquires the judge. "THE ENGLAND TEAM " comes the reply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Let's keep the ball rolling: Judge: So Timmy, Did you want to live with your mum? Timmy: No Judge: Why Not? Timmy: She beats me Judge: So, Would you like to live with your Dad? Timmy: No, he beats me too Judge: So who would you like to live with Timmy? Timmy: The England Team Judge: (Slightly Confused) The England Team? Why? Timmy: They never beat anyone ************EDIT: DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***************** (I mean that in the nicest possible way) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I am the repost King today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiten55 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 you're delivery is much better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 you're delivery is much better Don't try to make me feel better It just makes the pain worse..... /vbb/images/smilies/bbcode_sad.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopgunTT Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 The missus came home early and nearly caught me watching the England game. Luckily i managed to put some porn on and get my cock out in time to save any embarrassment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 The missus came home early and nearly caught me watching the England game. Luckily i managed to put some porn on and get my cock out in time to save any embarrassment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R Black Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I cant believe we drew to such a sh!^ team. We could've won the match the other night comfortably, Im ashamed to call myself Algerian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCK10 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Superb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I cant believe we drew to such a sh!^ team. We could've won the match the other night comfortably, Im ashamed to call myself Algerian. That's not funny? Wheres the punchline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Massey Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Teachers says to class "what does your dad do at weekends? Little boy "hes a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the moneys right he lets punters bang his arse and cum in his gob". Teacher takes him outside "is that true" "No miss its bollox" "He plays in goal for England but im too embarrassed to say" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopgunTT Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Bloke walks into a brothel and says, I'm a bit kinky how much for total humiliation? The madam replies £40, Bloke replies, Wow what do i get for that? Madam says, An England football shirt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R Black Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 All future televised England matches have been moved to the gay adult channel as the sight of 11 AR$£&O(£$ getting hammered for 90 mins was far too explicit for terrestrial TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Shock news! England have just got a new coach! It will be meeting them at Heathrow on Thursday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJ Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Top Tip for England's next game: If you're watching on Sky+ press pause and wait a second before pressing play. Being a second or two behind the live play will give you that authentic Emile Heskey viewpoint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobD Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 England: Making France look like world beaters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Retailers: Worried what to do with all those England flags? Simply Tippex out the red cross and sell them on to the French. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiceRocket Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 The missus came home early and nearly caught me watching the England game. Luckily i managed to put some porn on and get my cock out in time to save any embarrassment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJ Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 An oldie, but quite a few lines in this are still appropriate this time round! Not Work safe due to language! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJ Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ENGLAND CAMP: Heskey has just smashed a volley into the net! ...turns out he's shit at tennis as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wez Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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