Ewen Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 :dI need help. Renumeration offered, amount negotiable. Rear garden... Fix fence, remove rubbish Front garden... Fix fence, remove rubbish Garage... Fix roof, fix doors, fix windows, remove circa 2 tonnes of rubbish, sort out approx 2 million assorted screws / bolts / nuts that are all over the floor, remove circa 3 dead birds. Conservatory... Same as garage, but substitute dead birds for cat poo. Attic... Sort out 20 years of accumulated crap, retrieve approx 2000 bits of Meccano and unknown quantity of Lego from insulation material, remove rubbish House... Fix doors and windows, re-wire, re-decorate, build new kitchen, sort out millions of CDs / LPs / DVDs / books / bills, remove rubbish Me... Cure ulcers, get teeth done, change diet, drink less caffeine / alchohol Wife... Basically same as garage Daughter... Remove 16 stone of beligerent pish-headed rubbish;) Car... No work needed, the cars immaculate obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Class One Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 I can help with the removal of the 16st beligerent pish head rubbish. No probs. The other stuff...... pfft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nic Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Garage... sort out approx 2 million assorted screws Wife... Basically same as garage That's going to cost you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 I take it Jane's drawn up your New Years list then Ewen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Sounds like you need a fire, start again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Hire a skip.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 :dI need help. Renumeration offered, amount negotiable. Rear garden... Fix fence, remove rubbish Front garden... Fix fence, remove rubbish Garage... Fix roof, fix doors, fix windows, remove circa 2 tonnes of rubbish, sort out approx 2 million assorted screws / bolts / nuts that are all over the floor, remove circa 3 dead birds. Conservatory... Same as garage, but substitute dead birds for cat poo. Attic... Sort out 20 years of accumulated crap, retrieve approx 2000 bits of Meccano and unknown quantity of Lego from insulation material, remove rubbish House... Fix doors and windows, re-wire, re-decorate, build new kitchen, sort out millions of CDs / LPs / DVDs / books / bills, remove rubbish Me... Cure ulcers, get teeth done, change diet, drink less caffeine / alchohol Wife... Basically same as garage Daughter... Remove 16 stone of beligerent pish-headed rubbish;) Car... No work needed, the cars immaculate obviously. Have you had a gas explosion then or maybe a plane has landed on your house?? H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Thanks guys...fire started, explosives set, skips ordered, sent dossier to hit-man. If I've forgotten anything, please let me know. Its going to be a big one with collosal fall-out. Camp bed and rations installed under my desk at work. I will be transmitting messages of hope from Boxing Day onwards, if there are any survivors out there give me a sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 You are Legend Ewen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 You are not alone. I'm praying the supra will rub off on the rest of the goo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I can assist with the daughter FOC with no issues at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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