out of office replies

[CJ]

I did a search but found nothing:

 

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.

 

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, the chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

 

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain removed s I can be promoted to our management team.

 

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 18/11. Please be patient, your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

 

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

 

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beaut of this is when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

 

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to the queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

 

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

 

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

 

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as “Sharon” instead of “Steve”.

[Pabs]

excellent - made me chuckle

[DannyB]

Lol loving them! Will use the Email one at work about the queuing system!

[Pete]

I'm liking those.

 

Fave: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 18/11. Please be patient, your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

[grahamc]

I prefered number 5

 

I am going to use this for my next holiday!