The Rules!!!!!! :)

[jamesmark]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here it is from the male side. These are our laws! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

 

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as boxing, porn, monster trucks or evo's

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

 

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[RobSheffield]

[Max Headroom]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here it is from the male side. These are our laws! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

 

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as boxing, porn, monster trucks or evosupra's

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

 

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

 

I made a small change, this is a supra forum not an evo forum, don't you know

[KaoriFan]

they are good

 

should be carved in stone

[Snooze]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

Never got the whole toilet seat thing. Leave it down if you want, just don't complain when I p*ss all over it, okay?

[Charlotte]

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 

Because men can't count?

[paul ashton]

Never got the whole toilet seat thing. Leave it down if you want, just don't complain when I p*ss all over it, okay?

 

Here here but the problem i have in my house is that i'm outnumbered 3-1.

[JustGav]

Just received a kicking from the missus after sending it to her...

[Snooze]

Here here but the problem i have in my house is that i'm outnumbered 3-1.

 

I thought I'd try breeding my own back-up to tip the gender balance in our house, but it seems my first attempt has backfired - I've been waiting for 6 months now, and he doesn't even USE the toilet, let alone argue about it - just sits there and sh*ts his pants.

[SupraAyf]

Just received a kicking from the missus after sending it to her...

 

Good point there Sir, I was just about to press the send button. I think I will leave this one:innocent:

[paul ashton]

:

I thought I'd try breeding my own back-up to tip the gender balance in our house, but it seems my first attempt has backfired - I've been waiting for 6 months now, and he doesn't even USE the toilet, let alone argue about it - just sits there and sh*ts his pants.

:rlol:

[bungy]

Like the rules and love the equal rights issues that always follow.

In the military women get longer to do their 1 1/2 mile fitness test. How equal is that?

[MR.B]

[Snooze]

Like the rules and love the equal rights issues that always follow.

In the military women get longer to do their 1 1/2 mile fitness test. How equal is that?

 

Ack - it's like The Krypton Factor all over again. It really used to annoy me that the old blokes and the women got a headstart in the assault course bit - would they give me a headstart in the general knowledge bit for being thick ????

[Havard]

I thought I'd try breeding my own back-up to tip the gender balance in our house, but it seems my first attempt has backfired - I've been waiting for 6 months now, and he doesn't even USE the toilet, let alone argue about it - just sits there and sh*ts his pants.

 

Give it time mate!!

 

My wife will be outnumbered 3 to 1 soon. There won't be a dry bog seat in the house!!

 

H.

[jamesmark]

I made a small change, this is a supra forum not an evo forum, don't you know

 

 

I left that in to see, I was not let down.

 

 

GET A LIFE you freak.

 

Only teasing, or am I

[Graham S]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

 

Hang on a sec. In our house its 4-1, so why the bloody hell do we keep the fecking seat down...

 

LET THE WAR BEGIN!