Max Headroom Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 "ouch" he says I will be here all week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham S Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Oh Dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 You should have put 'naked man walks into a bar'... push the read count up *grin* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Chelsea Pensioner walks into a bar... 'Gimme a whiskey...I havent had a drink since 1920' 'bloody hell, thats a long time without a drink' 'Too bloody true, its 2130 now' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branners Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Irish man walking down the street (racist I know, but Im part Irish so it must be okay..) and sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and they ask him if its ticking, he says 'no, I think its beef'. JB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 Irish man walking down the street (racist I know, but Im part Irish so it must be okay..) and sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and they ask him if its ticking, he says 'no, I think its beef'. JB Took me a while and my wife explained it to me, but yes very droll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I said the punchline as I opened the link FFS Branners was better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 a man walks into a bar..... barman: why the long face? man: my mom was raped by a horse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kev.O Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 a man walks into a bar..... barman: why the long face? man: my mom was raped by a horse That one made me chuckle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Man runs into a bar... 'Quick, wheres the phone ? Just got back after a weekend away and my house has been burgled by a Welshman' 'Its over there in the corner...how do you know he was Welsh ?' '[insert witty punchline here]' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 A duck walks into a pub. He says to the barman: "Got any fish?" The barman says, "No! This is a pub. Sorry, we don't have fish here. Try the fish market." The duck goes "Oh," and walks off. The next day, the duck walks back into the pub and says: "Got any fish?" The barman goes, "I'm sure you came in yesterday! Don't you remember what I said? I ain't got any fish, alright?" The duck goes "Oh," and walks off. The day after that, the duck returns and goes: "Got any fish?" The barman says: "Look, I haven't got any fish! This is a pub, for goodness sake! Now get lost!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off. The next day the duck enters the pub yet again and says: "Got any fish?" The barman says: "If you say that to me ever again, I'LL NAIL YOUR FEET TO MY CEILING!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off. The next day, the duck goes back into the pub. He says: "Got any nails?" The barman says, "No, why would we?" Then the duck goes: "Got any fish?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 Man runs into a bar... 'Quick, wheres the phone ? Just got back after a weekend away and my house has been burgled by a Welshman' 'Its over there in the corner...how do you know he was Welsh ?' '[insert witty punchline here]' My sheepskin rug has gone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 Chicken sandwich walks into a bar, the barman says "sod off we don't serve food here" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager. The barman looks at him and says, "'Ere, we've got a whisky named after you." The white horse looks confused and says, "What - Dobbin?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 A man rushes into a bar, orders the four most expensive 30-year-old single malts in the house and has the barman line them up in front of him. Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. "Whew," the barman remarks, "You seem to be in a hurry." "You would be too if you had what I have," the man replies. "Why, what do you have?" the barman asks sympathetically. "Fifty pence" says the man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Man walks into a pub and the barman says to him, "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants. That must be painful." The man replies "Yeah, it is. It's driving me nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 oi martin that duck joke belongs to me!! http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=76491&highlight=duck+joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 Man walks into a pub and the barman says to him, "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants. That must be painful." The man replies "Yeah, it is. It's driving me nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezz Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I was asked to play rugby on saturday. Apparently Ipswich are short of a few hookers.............. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Irish man walking down the street (racist I know, but Im part Irish so it must be okay..) and sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and they ask him if its ticking, he says 'no, I think its beef'. JB you been listening to radio 1 branners:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I got asked why i was so fat by a bloke in a pub... And i said...because every time i fuck your mrs she gives me biscuit.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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