Animal Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Found these on another forum - number 12 cracked me up... I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district...(Spellings have been left intact.) 1. MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM. 2. PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT. 3. DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33. 4. PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING. 5. PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP. 6. JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE. 7. CARLOS WAS ABSEN YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART. 8. MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS. 9. CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE. 10. PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS. 11. PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( ) WERE CROSSED OUT]. 12. PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK. 13. IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST. 14. PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT (You know, this could be legit!) 15. I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR. 16. PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY. 17. SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL. 18. MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES. 19. PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL. 20. PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS. 21. GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER. 22. PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR. 23. MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AN SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOME THING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 14. PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT (You know, this could be legit!) Absolutely brilliant!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSupra Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Quality Great find that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 :rlol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 OMG I can't even work out what they meant to say in half of those!!! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colsoop Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miko_supra Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY. A clear winner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 that's like those insurance claims form quotes.... very good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 11. PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( ) WERE CROSSED OUT]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveR Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I like those, very good, going to print them out and take them to the pub to show some mates tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisSZ Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Nos 18, 20 and 22 are probably actually completely correct (Tennessee after all LOL) My favorie one so far (from one of my students) is;- "I was late because the bus came on the other side of the road" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now