Little Ralphy

[DamanC]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and

you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little

Ralphy.

 

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

 

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your

thinking."

 

Then little RALPHY says, "Please Miss, I have a question for YOU".

 

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice

cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third

is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

 

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the

one

that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

 

To which Little RALPHY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with

the

wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

 

 

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHS

 

 

Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in

arithmetic.

 

"Why?" asks the father?

 

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies RALPHY.

 

"But that's right!" says his dad.

 

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'"

 

"What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father.

 

"That's what I said!"

 

 

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

 

 

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are

going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example

of a multi-syllable word?"

 

RALPHY says "Mas-tur-bate."

 

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little RALPHY, that's a

mouthful."

 

Little RALPHY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*wjob."

 

 

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

 

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.

All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.

He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a p*ss!!"

 

The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to

use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow

you to go."

 

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ! "You're an eight,

but if you had bigger t*ts, you'd be a TEN!"

 

 

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

 

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a

show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same

sentence twice.

 

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father

bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

 

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

Michael. "My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out

beautifully."

 

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called

on little RALPHY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my

father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f*cking

beautiful!'"

 

 

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

 

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar

after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him

said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It

will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

 

Little RALPHY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

 

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

little RALPHY answered, "No, he minded his own f*cking business."

[monkey76364]

Pmsl ...very good

[Supragal]

genius especially the last one