Ewen Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 What's the biggest difference between men and women? What they mean when they say, "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film." My mate came round to my house party and we all got hammered. I'm never inviting Thor again. He's a ****** nutter. Apparently Al Qaeda were targeting Old Trafford and Anfield, Change of approach from the sneaky bastards, trying to win the rest of the country over like that. Hit me at 30mph and there’s an eighty percent chance I’ll live. Hit me at 40mph and there’s an eighty percent chance I’ll die. Hit me at 94mph and there’s an eighty percent chance you’re a police officer. If I'm ever in a public toilet and I realize that the person in the cubicle next to me is holding fire until I've left, I like to open the door and close it again without actually leaving. That way, their first plop can then be greeted with a huge cheer. I had a great night last night. I met a girl, we had a couple of drinks and walked back to my house. The stars were shining in her hair and her head was resting on my shoulder. My mate had her legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Some good ones there sir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 I got burgled last night, but all they took were Mars bars & Kit Kat's. Police reckon it was snackheads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozz Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I got burgled last night, but all they took were Mars bars & Kit Kat's. Police reckon it was snackheads. pmsl! I like that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoff Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Apparently Al Qaeda were targeting Old Trafford and Anfield, Change of approach from the sneaky bastards, trying to win the rest of the country over like that. If I'm ever in a public toilet and I realize that the person in the cubicle next to me is holding fire until I've left, I like to open the door and close it again without actually leaving. That way, their first plop can then be greeted with a huge cheer. Excellant:d Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Thanking you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I got burgled last night, but all they took were Mars bars & Kit Kat's. Police reckon it was snackheads. Good skills Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now