Muffleman Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Hi all, Here's one way of dealing with getting caught speeding I was travelling along the M4 the other day when a policeman jumped out from a bush, aimed his laser gun at me and had me stopped for speeding. The policeman kindly asked me 'So where's the fire at buddy ? Going a bit fast weren't we ?' 'Actually', I replied, 'I am a rectum stretcher and I'm late for an appointment'. 'A what ?' he replied' 'A rectum stretcher' I answered. 'So what exactly does a Rectum Stretcher do ?' he foolishly asks. 'Well, we start off by gently inserting one finger. Then we slowly work a second finger in, and then a third and fourth, finally working in the thumb so we have a whole hand in. Then we have to slowly, and patiently, work in the second hand so that we can start the rectal stretching process. About an hour later, we have usually managed to stretch the rectum to a diameter of upto six feet'. 'SIX FEET' he proclaims, 'what on earth do you do with a six foot arsehole'. To which I replied 'You give him a laser gun and hide him behind a bush on the motorway' Have a great weekend all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Best joke ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopite Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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