Joke - Sir Paul McCartney and his Wife

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife

are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes

about her false leg

Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

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News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his

wife Heather Mills-McCartney.

Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has

been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no

idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she

will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk

out on a relationship like this"

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It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the

marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world amassing

a colossal wealth due to his participation with The Beatles and

subsequent musical collaborations, if an agreement has been signed it

is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

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Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may

have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to

get her leg over".

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Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the

cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get

home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present

that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new Prosthetic

leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was

a plane but then he gave her a Lady-Shave for the other leg.

Apparently she wants to keep the plane he bought her for Christmas, she

says she'll buy her own Immac for the other leg.

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A poem by Sir Paul McCartney-

I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt

and her leg fell in the river

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A Miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate

"I'm ****ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try

Paul McCartney"

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Q What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?

A The McCartneys

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These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she

has left him, he's going to struggle to find another lady that can fill

her shoe.

Some very funny ones in there that I haven't heard before.

I feel guilty for laughing though. At the end of the day, the poor girl's only got one leg & half the nation are taking the piss

A poem by Sir Paul McCartney-

 

I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt

and her leg fell in the river

Some very funny ones in there that I haven't heard before.

 

I feel guilty for laughing though. At the end of the day, the poor girl's only got one leg & half the nation are taking the piss

Very true, but one leg and a share in McCartney's millions.

I personally don't think I'd swap, but it's got to make the trauma somehow more bearable.

Fellow Hampshire m8,

If I had any form of conscience then I would be feeling fairly guilty by now - luckily I don't buddy.

 

I feel guilty for laughing though. At the end of the day, the poor girl's only got one leg & half the nation are taking the piss

That is very funny especially the last one!

Cheers Buddy - Here's one for the wife. It will work wonders (trust me)!!!

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,

"I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly - pay me a compliment".

The husband replies, "your eyesight's perfect".

That is very funny especially the last one!