Guest gzaerojon Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Paddy the Irishman died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean (also Irishmen), were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over". So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy". The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body. Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over". The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy". The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes." "What, he had two arseholes???" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, "Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes...." Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four" "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishman retorts disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons." "You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law. "The Englishmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" "Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno." A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer. After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer. This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, "Why do you keep looking in your pocket?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I'll go home." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carl0s Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 I like the second one. It was funnier last time it was posted though 'cause it had the heavy Irish accent in there if you see what I mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaoriFan Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VELOCITY Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSupra Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 All good, very good!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supralookin Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 I like the second one. It was funnier last time it was posted though 'cause it had the heavy Irish accent in there if you see what I mean WHAT! I don't believe it! You never cracked a smile on that stone ridden pooh face of yours?! No! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carl0s Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 WHAT! I don't believe it! You never cracked a smile on that stone ridden pooh face of yours?! No! are you still here? I thought you'd have fucked off to http://www.zroadster.net/forum/portal.php by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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