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Wednesday night joke (oldies)


Dragonball

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A young ventriloquist touring the clubs is doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, the goes through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 2nd row stands on her chair and shouts: "I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes but women in general .. and all in the name of humor".

Quite taken aback, the embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize but the blonde yells again, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!!!"

***

Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes on her shoulders and ask her a question

***

An 85-year-old went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

 

The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

 

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. she tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing."

 

"We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

 

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

 

The old man replied, "Yep, And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."

...sorry :)

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