joke

[baz]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

 

He orders a drink and while he's drinking,

 

the monkey jumps all around the place. The

 

monkey grabs some olives off the bar and

 

eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes

 

and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool

 

table and grabs one of the billiard balls.

 

To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in

 

his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.

 

 

 

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you

 

see what your monkey just did?"

 

 

"No, what?"

 

 

 

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool

 

table... whole!"

 

 

 

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied

 

the guy, "he eats everything in sight.

 

Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

 

 

 

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill,

 

pays for the stuff the monkey ate and

 

leaves.

 

 

 

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again,

 

and has his monkey with him. He orders a

 

drink and the monkey starts running around

 

the bar again. While the man is finishing

 

his drink, the

 

monkey finds a maraschino

 

cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it

 

up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

 

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again

 

sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and

 

eats it.

 

 

 

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see

 

what your monkey did now?"

 

 

 

"No, what?" replied the man.

 

 

 

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a

 

peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and

 

ate them!" said the bartender.

 

 

 

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied

 

the guy. "He still eats everything in

 

sight, but ever since he ate that

 

cue ball, he measures everything first."

[Mike]

old but...