Guest gzaerojon Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 TESCO PHARMACY One day, leaning on the copy shop counter, Jack Salesman says to Mike Punter, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!" "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies, "There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid... a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club card points". So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks". That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and spat into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer printed the following: 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet 3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 6) And if you don't stop talking shit, your customers will never believe you. Thank you for shopping at Tesco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=86431 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=38243 Sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Repost!! That makes it 3 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=103028&highlight=joke H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gzaerojon Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=86431 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=38243 Sorry! Repost!! That makes it 3 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=103028&highlight=joke H. oh Cr@p, busted by the repost police Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 oh Cr@p, busted by the repost police You may have got away with it if one of them wasn't mine!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ark Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Why would a dog with worms need shampooing? Surely dog worming pills might be more help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Why would a dog with worms need shampooing? Surely dog worming pills might be more help.Ringworm is a skin complaint not intestinal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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