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Max Headroom
12-12-06, 21:57
"ouch" he says :)


I will be here all week :)
Graham S
12-12-06, 21:59
Oh Dear!
JustGav
12-12-06, 22:01
You should have put 'naked man walks into a bar'... push the read count up *grin*
Ewen
12-12-06, 22:52
Chelsea Pensioner walks into a bar...
'Gimme a whiskey...I havent had a drink since 1920'
'bloody hell, thats a long time without a drink'
'Too bloody true, its 2130 now'
Branners
12-12-06, 23:02
Irish man walking down the street (racist I know, but Im part Irish so it must be okay..) and sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and they ask him if its ticking, he says 'no, I think its beef'.

JB
Max Headroom
12-12-06, 23:07
Irish man walking down the street (racist I know, but Im part Irish so it must be okay..) and sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and they ask him if its ticking, he says 'no, I think its beef'.

JB

Took me a while and my wife explained it to me, but yes very droll :)
dangerous brain
12-12-06, 23:08
I said the punchline as I opened the link FFS

Branners was better.
matlee
12-12-06, 23:17
a man walks into a bar.....

barman: why the long face?

man: my mom was raped by a horse
Kev.O
12-12-06, 23:20
a man walks into a bar.....

barman: why the long face?

man: my mom was raped by a horse

That one made me chuckle! :d
Ewen
12-12-06, 23:36
Man runs into a bar...
'Quick, wheres the phone ? Just got back after a weekend away and my house has been burgled by a Welshman'
'Its over there in the corner...how do you know he was Welsh ?'
'[insert witty punchline here]'
RedM
12-12-06, 23:40
A duck walks into a pub. He says to the barman: "Got any fish?"

The barman says, "No! This is a pub. Sorry, we don't have fish here. Try the fish market."

The duck goes "Oh," and walks off.

The next day, the duck walks back into the pub and says: "Got any fish?"
The barman goes, "I'm sure you came in yesterday! Don't you remember what I said? I ain't got any fish, alright?" The duck goes "Oh," and walks off.

The day after that, the duck returns and goes: "Got any fish?"
The barman says: "Look, I haven't got any fish! This is a pub, for goodness sake! Now get lost!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off.

The next day the duck enters the pub yet again and says: "Got any fish?"
The barman says: "If you say that to me ever again, I'LL NAIL YOUR FEET TO MY CEILING!"
The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off.

The next day, the duck goes back into the pub. He says: "Got any nails?"
The barman says, "No, why would we?"
Then the duck goes: "Got any fish?"
Max Headroom
12-12-06, 23:40
Man runs into a bar...
'Quick, wheres the phone ? Just got back after a weekend away and my house has been burgled by a Welshman'
'Its over there in the corner...how do you know he was Welsh ?'
'[insert witty punchline here]'

My sheepskin rug has gone
Max Headroom
12-12-06, 23:41
Chicken sandwich walks into a bar, the barman says "sod off we don't serve food here"
RedM
12-12-06, 23:43
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager. The barman looks at him and says, "'Ere, we've got a whisky named after you." The white horse looks confused and says, "What - Dobbin?"
RedM
12-12-06, 23:44
A man rushes into a bar, orders the four most expensive 30-year-old single malts in the house and has the barman line them up in front of him.
Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one.
"Whew," the barman remarks, "You seem to be in a hurry."
"You would be too if you had what I have," the man replies.
"Why, what do you have?" the barman asks sympathetically.
"Fifty pence" says the man.
RedM
12-12-06, 23:45
Man walks into a pub and the barman says to him, "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants. That must be painful."

The man replies "Yeah, it is. It's driving me nuts!"
matlee
12-12-06, 23:46
oi martin that duck joke belongs to me!!

http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=76491&highlight=duck+joke


:d
Max Headroom
12-12-06, 23:46
Man walks into a pub and the barman says to him, "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants. That must be painful."

The man replies "Yeah, it is. It's driving me nuts!"

:rlol:
Jezz
13-12-06, 00:11
I was asked to play rugby on saturday. Apparently Ipswich are short of a few hookers..............


Sorry. :(
SUPRALOOPY
13-12-06, 00:13
Irish man walking down the street (racist I know, but Im part Irish so it must be okay..) and sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and they ask him if its ticking, he says 'no, I think its beef'.

JB


you been listening to radio 1 branners:D
SUPRALOOPY
13-12-06, 00:16
I got asked why i was so fat by a bloke in a pub...

And i said...because every time i fuck your mrs she gives me biscuit..