View Full Version : Club Competition #1
Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-sore-ass
Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur
A :Do-you-think-he-saw-us
Max Headroom
27-09-06, 16:58
Wibble Wibble !!
Q. Whats best about shagging Twenty-Five year olds?
A. There's Twenty of them!
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 16:59
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lic-allota-pus.
I'm home now if anyone's interested!
:d - My standards are impeccable I’ll have you know! So your names Sabrina and your not a boy...... that will do for me!! :p
LOL so my 12 toes and missing teeth are not going to bother you then? ;)
Q. Whats best about shagging Twenty-Five year olds?
A. There's Twenty of them!
:blink:
newbiematt
27-09-06, 17:00
:)
Anyone bought a lottery ticket for tonight?
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
There they are all standing in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts (they’re lovely)
There they are all standing in a row (one, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head (and bigger)
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (all together now)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (harmony)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:02
Show me the brake pads.
How does a nun hold her liquer?
..
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by the ears
This has got to be battering the hell out of the server...
OK, going home now..... :bye:
OK, going home now..... :bye:
bye bye. :D
LOL so my 12 toes and missing teeth are not going to bother you then? ;)
Well im not to keen on the 12 toes but missing teeth is a bonus .......:d We will just have to keep socks on and its all good!!
OK, going home now..... :bye:
you be joining us on the 'other side' Mike? :d
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:04
Anybody fancy a trip to Germany? I'm thinking of hosting a meet at my house with follow-on to the Nurburgring (hour away).
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.
Banzai drop for 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 ! And da winnah is Meeeh! :blink:
Well im not to keen on the 12 toes but missing teeth is a bonus .......:d We will just have to keep socks on and its all good!!
LOL. :d
PS: I don't actually have 12 toes
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not? If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:07
Good point that one.
Clock watching at work now :blink:
The current time in California, United States is
9:08 AM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
DST -0700 UTC
Nope, I really HAVE run out of things to say...
i have just got back what happened?
Nope, I really HAVE run out of things to say...
Odd because I could go on like this forever. :d
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
LOL. :d
PS: I don't actually have 12 toes
But you do have missing teeth!!! :p
Odd because I could go on like this forever. :d
Ah yes but you are a female, and they can talk *run* *duck* *hide*
Apparently, 1 in every 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's not me and I don't reckon it's my mum or my dad. Maybe it's my older brother Colin. It might be my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu, but I think it's Colin.
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:12
My wife is getting angry at me because "I've chosen to prioritize incorrectly and dinner is not gonna happen now". God, I'm an addict.
But you do have missing teeth!!! :p
Strangely yes, but not how you might imagine. :p
Ah yes but you are a female, and they can talk *run* *duck* *hide*
Im not going to deny it. Im in my element. :d
Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What the mods haven't told you is that delivery for this item is £150.
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:15
It's not about the cost of the post anymore.... it's about winning.. .and winning..... is everything.
What the mods haven't told you is that delivery for this item is £150.
May be if JSPEC germany wins!!! yeah! lol
cup of tea? or glass of wine?
I've forgotten - why are we doing this, again? :search:
Stop
...
...
Carry On. :)
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:18
Jesus, you're right Matt. Sh*t. It's still about winning damnit.
Im going home, but ill be back!
Black holes are high intensity gravity fields..
Can I get a "Biggedy Biggedy Bong" please?
cup of tea? or glass of wine?
neither....both mean intake of fluid which at some point is going to mean it's gonna come out again and i can't afford that lol
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:20
Hot running water... go pee... go poo... I hope you have diareeah (sp?)... and it's fiery... like hot lava!
I've got to cook dinner tonight... ah well, I shall raid the freezer in a mo....
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
neither....both mean intake of fluid which at some point is going to mean it's gonna come out again and i can't afford that lol
LOL so you are prepared to waste away into nothing for the sake of brake pads. :d
We Have A Winnah!! Its Meee :p
wooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo.
i need some brake pads!
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:22
You're a loser.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
can someone recommend an alternative to dvd shrink for backing up dvds please?
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:25
Have way too much time invested now.
Max Headroom
27-09-06, 17:26
Wobble Wobble
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
I lied, ok I'm going now.
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:27
whoosh
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:28
600?
Half the people you know are below average.
Why not dvdshrink?
because it doesn't work for some reason on my laptop, on any dvd. But I can back up the dvds on my BFs laptop. :d
But I can rip dvds to my hard drive and copy on to disc using nero
Back, Sac n' Crack
Neighbour does that for a living...
I saw this bloke in the high street and the back of his anorak was flicking up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said "Do you earn a living doing that?" He said "Yes, this my lively hood."
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:30
because it doesn't work for some reason on my laptop, on any dvd. But I can back up the dvds on my BFs laptop. :d
But I can rip dvds to my hard drive and copy on to disc using nero
What errors do you get?
:) :d :p ;) :rolleyes: :search:
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:31
Bicycle....Bicycle..... I want to ride my.. Bicycle.
Neighbour does that for a living...
How does your neighbour deal with klingons?
Have you tried DVD-Decrypter?
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:33
More groan
How does your neighbour deal with klingons?
Photon Torpedos?
http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/c.htm
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:34
This is getting old.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
mmm, a beer tonight me thinks, or maybe 4........
anything good on tele tonight?
What errors do you get?
as below or it freezes on dvd at 97%, and I can't copy discs I've already copied.
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:36
mmm, a beer tonight me thinks, or maybe 4........
After this, I dunnow me head is already spinning
Hmmmm, come on, put people out of their misery, so we can read the other threads...
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee even im annoying myself now
i do hope they havent the post count to 666!
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:37
I never win, and I'm about to do a brake swap.. perfect timing!
markssupra
27-09-06, 17:38
mememememe :)
Photon Torpedos?
:rlol:
The tears.....
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:38
Lets hope it ends before I go home
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
Food?
does anyone know what the weathers like tomorrow?
The pet shop owner told me that only one of the budgies was for sale. I asked him why and he told me the others were all on higher perches.
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:39
My god... come on mods! I'm getting hungry.
did you hear about the guy that walked into the bar?
markssupra
27-09-06, 17:40
The pet shop owner told me that only one of the budgies was for sale. I asked him why and he told me the others were all on higher perches.
:blink:
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:40
does anyone know what the weathers like tomorrow?
Wet and windy
whats funny about a banana?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:42
Yeah, good question. How is he? Anybody have any updates?
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
whats funny about a banana?
Depends what the banana is doing....
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?"
shoo be du be du bop shu be du be du bop
does anyone do kickboxing?
oooooooo 666
deep heat, great for muscle pain.
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:43
Arrrgghhh
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:43
I play Table Tennis
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
I WANTED 666 BUT i posted early
What is so fascinating about the number 666?
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Depends what the banana is doing....
Te he
I play Table Tennis
why?
i do boxkicking:)
me too, I started yesterday. :p
I WANTED 666 BUT i posted early
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:45
I love brake pads... I love brake pads... I love brake pads... I love brake pads... I love brake pads... I love brake pads...
I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?"
He said, "I don't know."
I said, "I don't want your job."
What do we need brake pads for?.... I stick my feet out the door and put my feet on the ground..
whats this thread for again??
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope.
"We're surrounded." :search:
whats this thread for again??
Who knows?
right am off home now! bye :)
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:48
Almost 700
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
this is gonna do wonders for my post count :D
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:48
why?
Cause it makes me fast and I like chinese food? I had to give up American Football after a bad neck injury and I'm not healed enough to get back on the rugby pitch and European Football (I don't know why we call it soccer in the states) isn't enough for me.
What is so fascinating about the number 666?
I posted it up at the start when I didn't understand the rules. Now I do I still wanted it.:tongue:
Sponges grow in the ocean.
How cool is that?
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. :rolleyes:
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
Erm, you don't need Control, Alt and Delete for windows 95... works just fine without that combo.
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:50
No more jokes...
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:50
Anybody else WoW?
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Any ever had sexual encounters with a contortionist?
Any ever had sexual encounbters with a contortionist?
Would it be 'kinky'?
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:52
tum te dum
Cause it makes me fast and I like chinese food? I had to give up American Football after a bad neck injury and I'm not healed enough to get back on the rugby pitch and European Football (I don't know why we call it soccer in the states) isn't enough for me.
so your hand eye coordination is very good. :)
I posted it up at the start when I didn't understand the rules. Now I do I still wanted it.:tongue:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar.
She said, "Cut it out."
Any ever had sexual encounbters with a contortionist?
No but i would bend over backwards to meet someone who was!! :D
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:53
Yes, eye to hand coord insane, but that may be from other things...
snooze? u got a joke book next to you or something?
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:54
A bad one at that
Would it be 'kinky'?
I hope so....
Do we get the anti squeal shims with these??
I'm not very good at telling jokes :(
No but i would bend over backwards to meet someone who was!! :D
Yeah, but when things get out of shape, someone is bound to get hurt..
Cutting and pasting is easier than actually coming up with something worth posting! :cool:
Some disks would be useful also :)
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:55
No, you're not.
so your hand eye coordination is very good. :)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
:tongue:
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:55
I need these... to make my wheels even dirtier
resident evil 2. can you survive the horror?
I can't believe I missed neighbours.
:d :p ;) can wait to get to 1000:d
I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called enquiries.
She said, "Hello, Enquiries."
I said, "I can't find my socks."
She said, "They're behind the couch."
No, you're not.
Oh yes he is!
Statiscally speaking we have to be close by now...
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:56
Who is?
I feel the need, the need for speed!!! :cool:
in space, no one can hear you scream
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
:tongue:
if you snooze you lose. :D
Jspec Germany
27-09-06, 17:57
Yes I am!
It takes to glances to work it out:d
Yeah, but when things get out of shape, someone is bound to get hurt..
especially when they cramp up
I feel the need, the need for speed!!! :cool:
you need a turbo then Trig ;)
MrRalphMan
27-09-06, 17:58
Spam
Anyone seen any good movies lately?
what a load of cr@p
(could not think of anything to write)
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 200 miles per hour.
The harmonica sounds *amazing*.
Just one can kill seven: alien
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