Jump to content
The mkiv Supra Owners Club

driftkid


Guest driftkid
 Share

Recommended Posts

Welcome

 

anybody out there with any tips about anything i will be grateful

 

Well, that leaves you open to all sorts of daft replies.

 

Have these, courtesy of Viz.

 

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red I wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

 

MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught.

 

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

 

EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

 

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire - then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.

 

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

 

BANGING two pistachio nut shells together gives the' impression a very small horse' is approaching.

 

DON'T waste money on j expensive iPods. Simply think D of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch I tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

 

CINEMAGOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.

 

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

 

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again.

 

CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

 

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: "Know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

 

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

 

SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

 

EMPLOYEES: Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid.

 

SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".

 

MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a sodding dodgem car anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. You might also be interested in our Guidelines, Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.