Xmas Give-away 2007 #4

[mawby]

!!! THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED !!!

(Winning member is edd_t (http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showpost.php?p=1730853&postcount=936))



As part payment for MVP Motorsports' trader renewal fee Dusty has offered a TTC Engine Dress Package (worth £220) as a prize for a club member. This is going to be given away in our penultimate raffle in the run up to Christmas. To be in with a chance of winning this prize all you need to do is reply to this thread!

This prize comprises of the following items; Oil Dipstick, ABS Relay Cover, Igniter Cover, Brake & Power Steering Cap Pair
and Idler Pulley.


68596 68597 68598 68599 68600



:trophy: :trophy: :trophy:

To win the prize you simply need to be the person who posts reply x to this thread, x being a secret number only known by me. However, there are some rules to this competition. Nothing too complicated but they will hopefully make the competition fair.


:rulez:

This competition is only open to paid up club members.

This competition is NOT open to any of the traders, moderators or any relatives of moderators.

After you have posted to this thread you MUST wait for at least 5 other members to post after you before you may post again. If you break this rule then you will be disqualified.

In the event that someone who is disqualified or not entitled to the prize happens to post reply x, the prize will be given to the next poster as long as they are entitled to enter and have not also been disqualified.

No cash alternative will be offered for the prizes.

We reserve the right to cancel this competition at any time without warning or reason.

Our decision is final.

:salute:

I have taken a screen shot of a forum page which contains the winning number. Once the competition is closed the image will be posted in this thread. For authenticity purposes the screen shot has the following date on it; "Yesterday, 18:52".

:secret:

In order to allow this competition to run on for more than few hours we have chosen a winning number which is quite high, it’s certainly more than 1 (obviously!) but it is less than 1000.

So bearing in mind the 5 posts rule, get replying and good luck!

:ecstatic:

This competition is sponsored by MVP Motorsport (http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/forumdisplay.php?f=35)

[michael]

Woot!

(You should change the rules so that people like me who just plough in and start posting get disqualified ;))

[Pixelfill]

good prize

[jim_supra]

very good prize.

[Gaz6002]

I need this in my life guys. Pleeeeeeeeease???

[keancy]

Here we go again then.

[GeordieSteve]

Very nice!

[jamesmark]

Am in, going for 4 competitions in a row of highest poster.

[m45sey]

i gotta win this time

[michael]

And again.

[Gaz6002]

I think for this one it should go to a lower number to reward us early-birds. I'd suggest post #5 as it's a nice round number. And I REALLY want this kit :)

[mawby]

Or maybe really high so it goes on all night and someone will win it tomorrow morning?

[Big Ads]

I'll bow out with my 66% winning record and give someone else a change :) (this post still counts though!)

[AlanM]

hello again

[keancy]

4 and a half hours to gooooooooo. I am bored, tired (thanks to Gordon Ramsey), cold and I got a great big headache.

Sigh!!

PS: James :)

[jamesmark]

PS: James :)

Why hello there. ;):innocent:

[GazB]

Here we go again

I win :)

[Gaz6002]

Or maybe really high so it goes on all night and someone will win it tomorrow morning?

That will work out well for me as i'll be at work and most people have Friday off so will be in bed with hangovers. I knew working for a bunch of slave-driving bar stewards had a plus side :tongue:

[Tigger]

I think I should win tbh. Just for bumping up post so other people can win - poor me :(

[baz]

here we go again

[broomie]

:p

[michael]

When I win I'll only keep a couple of the bits and give the rest out to other members.

[jamesmark]

It is a leap year next year.

[jim_supra]

Work is horrible. Kill me, Kill me now.

[steve spedd]

Well hello.... :)

[Gaz6002]

It is a leap year next year.


Huh? No flirting with Keancy in this post? Whats up mate? :)

[Ark]

ooh, blingedybling!

[heckler]

ding dong!

[keancy]

Just got caught browsing by two of my work mates lol :D

[GeordieSteve]

The shiney bits may even talk me into keeping the supra! ;)

[michael]

Syndrome

[jamesmark]

Huh? No flirting with Keancy in this post? Whats up mate? :)

It's not me mate, honest. :innocent::d

[m45sey]

this is goin quick

[jim_supra]

Paranormal

[MRX]

After yesterdays posting frenzy I think I'll just take it easy on this one... I'll come back in about 4 or 5 hours and make a post or 2 (if its still going).

[Marty]

time i won something :)

[broomie]

:p

[keancy]

Huh? No flirting with Keancy in this post? Whats up mate? :)

Is you jelous, do you need a :kiss: too??

It's not me mate, honest. :innocent::d

HUH!!!! :whip:

[jamesmark]

HUH!!!! :whip:

Sorry........:eyebrows:

[Animal]

spatula

[tooquicktostop]

Not sure I have the energy for another one but here goes

[Gaz6002]

Is you jelous, do you need a :kiss: too??



I think I is jealous - all these presents I keep getting sent just don't cut it :( I need some real internet love :sly:

[broomie]

:search:

[m45sey]

im only posting every so often on this one

[jim_supra]

Idiocracy. Good Idea, rubbish film.

[jamesmark]

And another one

[baz]

hi

[Gaz6002]

gonna win gonna win gonna win

[keancy]

I think I is jealous - all these presents I keep getting sent just don't cut it :( I need some real internet love :sly:

I ain't got a tree for you but :grouphug:

[tooquicktostop]

Roundtrees Makintosh

[Marty]

chicken lips

[broomie]

surely its my turn to win something! :trophy:

[jim_supra]

Mince pies.

[skim41]

so I should win it? :D

[Godmutha]

:d

[tooquicktostop]

Sherbet dib dab

[Gaz6002]

I ain't got a tree for you but :grouphug:

Why cheers darlin' - :wooohoo: I've virtually pulled!

[keancy]

Someone tell a funny story to cheer me up, I am on the verge of going to sleep here.........................:rolleyes:







Why cheers darlin' - :wooohoo: I've virtually pulled!

:love:

[chris2o2]

morning/afternoon.....

[jamesmark]

Someone tell a funny story to cheer me up, I am on the verge of going to sleep here.........................:rolleyes:









:love:

Currently listening to Lee Evans on Youtube at work, can you do that?

Why cheers darlin' - I've virtually pulled!

And I am dumped. :rlol:

[Animal]

@@

[hoff]

sponge

[downimpact]

:d

[jim_supra]

''I once had a large gay following. But I ducked in to an alley and lost him.''

[keancy]

Currently listening to Lee Evans on Youtube at work, can you do that?

Can look and read but nothing with sound realy as people in next office would hear and stich me up no doubt. :(


And I am dumped. :rlol:

AAwwww, nooooooooo James never!!! ;)

[jamesmark]

Can look and read but nothing with sound realy as people in next office would hear and stich me up no doubt

Just switched it off as I was getting funny looks nearly falling off my chair with laughter,

Got some Bruce Springsteen on now on the Ipod.

[Gaz6002]

Here you go Keancy:-

Tommy Cooper Jokes
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue, and I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on.

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU!
I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

You invented Tipp Ex, correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End'

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name. It's P something T something R.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this is for the custard."

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.
He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."

So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?"
I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."

I phoned the local builders today; I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!"

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"

So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it.
I thought that's Aboriginal.

I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director & I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road"

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there.

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.

I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?"
He said, "He's not your type." I said "How about Batman Forever?"
He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

[pa06has]

i love croutons

[Mcgoo]

Here you go Keancy:-

Tommy Cooper Jokes
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue, and I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on.

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU!
I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

You invented Tipp Ex, correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End'

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name. It's P something T something R.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this is for the custard."

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.
He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."

So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?"
I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."

I phoned the local builders today; I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!"

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"

So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it.
I thought that's Aboriginal.

I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director & I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road"

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there.

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.

I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?"
He said, "He's not your type." I said "How about Batman Forever?"
He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

:rlol:

[Big Red One]

here will go lets hope someone diffrent wins it

[Paul372]

lets see if i have any luck this time

[Rob Dublin]

This is for all of you who worry that a new year means getting another year older !! (apparently it is anyway... they block youtube here so I ain't seen it!)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqfFrCUrEbY

[keancy]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........


Someone speak to me then??




:D Only kidding, that one made me chuckle, Thanks x

Here you go Keancy:-
So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU!
I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

[jamesmark]

Another for good measure.


Keancy!!!

[jim_supra]

Pay rise day today. I'm going to end up owing the company money.

[Big Red One]

same old faces at it again

[Gaz6002]

Same old Face winning though :D

Just been offered eight legs of venison for £150.











Do you think it's two deer?

[AlanM]

Lunchtime at last

[Paul372]

yea lets have someone diffrent this time

[fat_controller]

my god 79 posts already, looks like i'll have to use my web and walk if i stand any chance of winning this one

[GazB]

81

[tooquicktostop]

Look here

[jamesmark]

Same old Face winning though :D

Just been offered eight legs of venison for £150.


Do you think it's two deer?

BOOM BOOM

http://www.funradiolive.com/images/magic/cache/LI44E32F8F452AD-370x368.jpg

[downimpact]

;)

[Gaz6002]

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you
doing?"
"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
"You've gotta be kiddin' me." "No, would you like to give it a try?"
Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..."
So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewellery, car keys, and then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy
handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened
to you?" He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got
there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in
sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said: "This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake..."

[Big Red One]

who do you think gonna win this time

[Paul372]

ads will he won the last two

[keancy]

Another for good measure.


Keancy!!!

Jaaaaaaaaammmmmmmeesssss :D



(Letters are stuck again)

[GazB]

who do you think gonna win this time

me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me or somebody else :(

[jamesmark]

Jaaaaaaaaammmmmmmeesssss :D



(Letters are stuck again)


I would get that checked out if I was you!!!!

[razza]

oohhh, shiney, all I'd need is an engine to go with it, got to start somewhere I suppose:rolleyes:

[Gaz6002]

Just to keep Keancy amused and keep up my record of amusing content in all competition posts:

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

[tooquicktostop]

But I really need this stuff

[AlanM]

me to

[michael]

Generic

[jamesmark]

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

Very true. :rlol:

[Big Red One]

that stuff would make my supe look better

[pa06has]

just eating ravoli and tune! wow!

[keancy]

Just to keep Keancy amused and keep up my record of amusing content in all competition posts:

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.


LOL


I am completely alone at the moment so I turned the radio up to full blast lol.

Franky goes to Holywood "The Power of Love"

[Paul372]

But I really need this stuff

do you really best get posting

[downimpact]

:innocent:

[tooquicktostop]

just eating ravoli and tune! wow!


Tried to think of something smart but all posted out from yesterday :)

[edge]

Maybe we can do the whole song but i dont know much more



Twinkle twinkle little star ..........

[razza]

think my xmas tree might be dead.....

[Big Red One]

my go again

[AlanM]

:rolleyes:

[GazB]

want, need, must have me me me :)

[Godmutha]

me again :D

[keancy]

Maybe we can do the whole song but i dont know much more



Twinkle twinkle little star ..........

How I wonder what you are...................

[broomie]

and again! :D

[Paul372]

my turn

[tooquicktostop]

Puerto Banus

[Big Red One]

me again

[Gaz6002]

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

[jamesmark]

I have an urge.............:eyebrows:

[razza]

hope the carpet fitter turns up today, got 13 people round for xmas...

[keancy]

I have an urge.............:eyebrows:



:hide:

[edge]

How I wonder what you are...................

Up above the sky so high......

[Paul372]

I have an urge.............:eyebrows:

what kind of urge

[Big Red One]

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

dont give up your day job

[tooquicktostop]

Got a lot of 'E cards' today from suppliers, could there be a cheaper option

[Gaz6002]

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

[AlanM]

lol

[razza]

what's people's big plans for New Year's?

[broomie]

:run:

[AshBhp]

oo rrr

[downimpact]

:rolleyes:

[keancy]

Up above the WORLD so high......


Like a diamond in the sky :tongue:

[Paul372]

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

:rlol: someones goota give him abit of surport

[Big Red One]

:)

[michael]

Machine has crashed and gave white screen, now when the machine is booting up it goes to selct boot mode but no matter what is chosen i.e. last good config but the machine simply reverts back to the selection screen.

*sigh*

[edge]

Like a diamond in the sky :tongue:

:lol:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

[jamesmark]

It is an urge that I feel very strongly about.

[Godmutha]

And again :D

[downimpact]

:d

[Matt H]

Big Ads?

[Paul372]

It is an urge that I feel very strongly about.

come on you can tell us

[Wiretapper]

:)

[Big Red One]

Big Ads?

hes todays winner

[Gaz6002]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour Said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

[keancy]

:lol:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

When the blazing sun is gone :d

(Going for Lunch now, next instalment after 1.30pm, unless someone else follows it up) ;)

[broomie]

:salute:

[tooquicktostop]

soon to be Big Ads parts emporium

[edge]

When the blazing sun is gone :d

(Going for Lunch now, next instalment after 1.30pm, unless someone else follows it up) ;)



When he nothing shines upon,


I am also going to do a few things. :D

[Paul372]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour Said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

ok thats enough give up while your ahead

[MRX]

Random post

[Gaz6002]

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

[Big Red One]

ho ho ho

[downimpact]

:tongue:

[tooquicktostop]

Every thought you are just making up the numbers

[GazB]

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

:rlol: :rlol: :rlol:

[Paul372]

whos supe tucked away this winter

[Gaz6002]

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before

[broomie]

:flasher:

[fat_controller]

monkeyfish

[Big Red One]

we have a flasher

[downimpact]

:search:

[tooquicktostop]

Tired today and time going very slow

[GazB]

13.03

[spidermonkey]

nearly missed this one :)

[DamanC]

Nice :)

[razza]

don't believe everything you think

[Paul372]

:nyah:

[jamesmark]

...............

[Gaz6002]

how does micheal jackson pick his nose?



FROM A CATALOGUE!!!!!

[michael]

No

[tooquicktostop]

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me

[jim_supra]

mmm Beef Onion and Mustard sandwich.

[Big Red One]

am running out of things to say already

[razza]

don't let your mind wander....

it's too small to be let out on it's own

[Paul372]

like your pic big red one

[Gaz6002]

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F. He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.” She looked puzzled and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly. He again answered, “S-H-I-T.” The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.” The man smiled back to her and once again said “S-H-I-T.” The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. “T-G-I-F” means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it? Duuhhh…..” The man answered, “yes. ‘S-H-I-T‘ means, ‘Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.’”

[broomie]

:nyah:

[steb9780]

here we go again

[downimpact]

:blink:

[tooquicktostop]

Pride is that which compels a man to do his very best even when nobody is watching.

[Big Red One]

here we go again

yes here we go again

[Gaz6002]

Council complaints - These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

5. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it had backfired and burnt my knob off.

6. And their 18 yr old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

16. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 a.m. His cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

18. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly, then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

19. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

21. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times but I still have no satisfaction.

23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

[razza]

shhhh....that's the sound of nobody caring what you think


these aren't aimed at anyone by the way, just gives me something to write:d

[Marty]

Going to play crysis for a bit me thinks

[Paul372]

what are you all up to weekend

[jim_supra]

Reality, It's a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

[broomie]

:cold:

[Gaz6002]

theres a new sexual position in the karma sutra!
its called the plumber.
you both stay in all day and nobody comes.

[Big Red One]

who got an xbox

[GazB]

:play:

[tooquicktostop]

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

[Paul372]

who got an xbox

i have one

[razza]

wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips

[DamanC]

:)

[Gaz6002]

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

[jim_supra]

wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips

Sorry, I thought I got it all.

[hoff]

:sly:

[Big Red One]

wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips

who has

[Animal]

who got an xbox

http://www.nopicture.com/goaway.jpg

Here's one

[broomie]

:trampoline:

[Paul372]

gonna get on call of duty later

[Gaz6002]

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

"I can't find my tractor"

[Glosphil]

:)

[tooquicktostop]

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him there's a seat with wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to make sure

[steb9780]

Ooh just finished my Xmas lunch at work, Chicken tikka naan, with a meat samosa and a seekh kebab (aka dog's schlong)

[AlanM]

Drat, boss is back

[jim_supra]

If at first you don't succeed, maybe failure's your thing.

[razza]

who has

no-one, just working my way through an email I got with "quotes you'd like to say to some people":d

couldn't think of anything else as too busy working from home today waiting for carpet fitter. As you can tell I'm being very productive...

[michael]

not yet

[Big Red One]

merry christmas to you all

[spidermonkey]

moo

[Gaz6002]

Stupid is as stupid does.

[tooquicktostop]

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

[Paul372]

how long is this thread gonna go on for

[fat_controller]

bloomin web and walk aint working so i've gotta keep sneaking into the office. muhahahahahahaahha

are we half way yet? quater?

[steb9780]

jeez building quick today.

[michael]

It was a bag of snakes.

[razza]

If you have something to say, raise your hand...

and put it over your mouth

[Big Red One]

how many pages to go till we finish 50

[Gaz6002]

how long is this thread gonna go on for

approximately twice as long as half its length IMHO.

[broomie]

:p

[tooquicktostop]

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they will find an easier way to do it.

[steb9780]

again

[Paul372]

broomie is that all you do put up little faces

[jim_supra]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

[Big Red One]

jeez building quick today.

building what budy

[VIL]

have I won.....is this the one!!!

[tooquicktostop]

There are three ways to get something done. 1. Do it yourself. 2. Hire someone to do it for you. 3. Forbid your kids to do it.

[steb9780]

building what budy

The post count on this competition

[Gaz6002]

Mmmm Dominos for lunch

[Animal]

HELP! My kite has become entangled in the branches of that old lady's cat!

[broomie]

:burp:

[jim_supra]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"

[Paul372]

i had bacon and egg

[tooquicktostop]

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

[steb9780]

who's finished for xmas? I finish tonight until the 6th

[Big Red One]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"

dam thats rubbish

[michael]

EOleSysError

[AlanM]

for ages

[Gaz6002]

Repost of a repost

[tooquicktostop]

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office.--

[Paul372]

who's finished for xmas? I finish tonight until the 6th

i finshed today

[razza]

you're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement immediately

[Big Red One]

my go again already

[jim_supra]

dam thats rubbish

Yep:)

[Gaz6002]

More people hassle me when i'm on lunch than when I've got nothing to do!

[michael]

Hkey_current_user

[tooquicktostop]

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits.

[steb9780]

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

[Paul372]

what do you think is the most common colour supe is

[Big Red One]

black

[broomie]

silver

[razza]

would you like some cheese with that whine?

[tooquicktostop]

The average women talks 50% more than her husband listens