View Full Version : The Friday Joke
garetheves
23-11-07, 08:45
A man comes home to find his pet Parrot has eaten all his Viagra. In disgust he puts the parrot in the freezer overnight to cool off. In the morning he opens the freezer to find the parrot sweating.
The man asks why the parrot is sweating to which the parrot replies..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.. Do you know how hard is it to open the legs of a frozen chicken??
:D Made me laugh anyway.
kieren1234
23-11-07, 08:57
Thats brilliant!!!!
garetheves
23-11-07, 17:53
Very good!!:D
It must be good to pass the H test :D
It must be good to pass the H test :D
My favourite Parrot joke is as follows!
A bloke is really suspicious of his wifes activities and is convinced she is having an affair. He decides to keep an eye on her. He couldn't afford any sophisticated camera equipment so he nips down to his local pet shop and asks the owner for a talking Parrot who will tell him what his going on when he gets home from work!!
In the pet shop, he asks the man behind the counter for a talking Parrot! The man says "We have only got one Parrot left, it will talk for England but it hasn't got any legs!" "No legs!" Says the bloke! "How does he stand on it's perch?" The man behind the counter tells him "The Parrot wraps his cock around the perch to make up for the fact that he's got no legs. He's very steady!!"
The suspicious bloke reluctantly pays for the Parrot and off he goes home! He comes home every day from work and speaks to the Parrot. "What did you see today?" "Not much replies the Parrot! This goes on for a couple of days!
The man arrives home from work and asks the Parrot again "What did you see today?" The Parrot replies "Oh a bloke came round and was sat in your living room!" "What happened?" Asks the man, growing with suspicion!! The Parrot replies "Well he started kissing your wife!" "And then?" asks the man. "He started fondling her breasts!" "And then?" asks the man. "He took off her skirt and pulled down her knickers!"
"What happened after that?" asks the man impatiently.....
"I don't know!" Replied the Parrot "I fell off my perch!!"...:D
H.
lol @ both, very good
Mine took longer to type.....:blink:
:rlol: both are awesome :D
is it just me or are parrot jokes just not funny:eyebrows::d
Shadow Beast
23-11-07, 23:27
i have an african grey parrot, i might have to be a bit careful!!
A bloke bought a parrot thinking he could do with the company. Unfortunately, he bought a rather rude parrot. It wouldn't stop swearing at every available opportunity! He tried everything to make it stop - he reasoned with it, he asked nicely, he had the local priest take a look, but all to no avail. One day, he could take it no longer, so he threw the parrot in his chest freezer and sat on top of it. He could hear the parrot kicking against the freezer door, longing to get out, all the while swearing it's head off at him. After about 15 mins, the kicking stopped and all was silent. Suddenly panicked that he may have killed the parrot, the man tore open the freezer. There inside was a rather tame looking parrot.
"I apologise for being so rude. It was out of order of me and I feel ashamed for my prior behaviour" proclaimed the parrot.
"Wow!" thinks the guy. "I've finally cracked it!"
"Just one question" asks the parrot timidly....."What exactly did the chicken do to be plucked as well as frozen to death?"
Jarl Ayari
24-11-07, 04:43
Brilliant, rotflmao
A bloke bought a parrot thinking he could do with the company. Unfortunately, he bought a rather rude parrot. It wouldn't stop swearing at every available opportunity! He tried everything to make it stop - he reasoned with it, he asked nicely, he had the local priest take a look, but all to no avail. One day, he could take it no longer, so he threw the parrot in his chest freezer and sat on top of it. He could hear the parrot kicking against the freezer door, longing to get out, all the while swearing it's head off at him. After about 15 mins, the kicking stopped and all was silent. Suddenly panicked that he may have killed the parrot, the man tore open the freezer. There inside was a rather tame looking parrot.
"I apologise for being so rude. It was out of order of me and I feel ashamed for my prior behaviour" proclaimed the parrot.
"Wow!" thinks the guy. "I've finally cracked it!"
"Just one question" asks the parrot timidly....."What exactly did the chicken do to be plucked as well as frozen to death?"
Great joke Rich!!:d
Great joke Rich!!:d
I'm more impressed at how legibly I wrote, given my alcohol consumption last night! :d
MrRalphMan
24-11-07, 17:56
Very funny, but when I read the second one I fell off my chair.
SupraChick
24-11-07, 19:56
Steve Maclaren is going to the England christmas party as a pumpkin.........
hes hoping someone will turn him into a F***ing coach!
:lol:
Not heard that one!
:lol:
Not heard that one!
I thought this thread was about Parrot jokes......;)
I thought this thread was about Parrot jokes......;)
So did I, but I still found that one funny :d
I'm out of parrot jokes though :(. The ones that you and I posted are the only ones I knew.
vBulletin® v3.7.3, Copyright ©2000-2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.