Religious Stuff

[Animal]

Guaranteed to offend at least someone...





Taoism:
Shit happens.

Buddhism:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen:
What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism:
This shit happened before.

Islam:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Shiite Happens

Protestantism:
Let shit happen to someone else.

Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?

Orthodox Judaism:
So shit happens, already!

Pantheism:
It's all the same shit.

Atheism:
I don't believe this shit.

Agnosticism:
What is this shit?

Satanism (individualistic):
Mind your own shit!
We will make your shit happen.
We hope bad shit happens to all of you.

Occultism:
Sh, it happens.

Mysticism:
Some weird shit is going on.

Quakers:
Let us not quarrel over this shit.

Scientology:
If shit happens, see ‘Dianetics’, page 157.

Feminism:
This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!

Witchcraft:
Mix this shit together and it will happen!

Paganism:
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Native Americans:
Shit is sacred when it happens.

Unitarianism:
We affirm the right for shit to happen.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Come let us reason together about this shit.

Televangelism:
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...

Voodoo:
Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
Let's stick some pins in this shit!
This shit's gonna get you!

Agnosticism:
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether it's shit or not.

Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.

Jehovah's Witnesses:
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent, and only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.

Wicca:
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

Catholicism:
If shit happens, you deserved it.
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Seventh Day Adventurist:
Shit happens on Saturday

Mormons:
Doo-doo happens

Rastafarianism:
Smoke this shit and it will happen

Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, rama, rama.

Moonism:
Only really happy shit happens.

Amish:
Shit happening is good for the soil.

Jesuitism:
How can we know if shit happens and nobody hears it?

[m45sey]

Agnosticism:
1.
What is this shit?
Agnosticism:
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether it's shit or not.


2
Witchcraft:
Mix this shit together and it will happen!
Wicca:
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

1.you said that twice

2. is the same thing

[AndyT]

Zen Buddhism - The only religion that has no war related to it. says something.

[RedM]

As the Buddhist said to the guy in Pizza Hut..

"make me one with everything"

Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He lays awake all night wondering if there is a Dog.

[Animal]

Wicca could also be: Bird shit.

[ChrisSZ]

Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He lays awake all night wondering if there is a Dog. ................and writing Xmas letters to Satan:D