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View Full Version : How can I NOT kill a work colleague?!


turbonut
02-05-07, 12:35
I've just realised someone I work with absolutely irritates the foook out of me. :complain: Just the fact that he breathes makes me want to cause him an 'oribble death...:wtf:

suggestions on either:

a) method of 'orrible end :hang:

or

b) anger management strategy (me)

appreciated..as soon as poss!!! :aggress:

cheers
L

RobSheffield
02-05-07, 12:38
Wooooosaaaah :)

Supradoopa
02-05-07, 12:39
Why does he irritate you?

michael
02-05-07, 12:40
I had one of those, I left.

turbonut
02-05-07, 12:41
Why does he irritate you?

He lives...

Havard
02-05-07, 12:42
Find a way of kicking him in the nuts by accident, at the top of a flight of stairs!!:innocent:

Or cry sexual harrasment!!

H.

AndrewOW
02-05-07, 12:42
Fantasise about 'a', but I'd advise doing 'b' ! :)

DaveK
02-05-07, 12:43
I had one of those, I left.

I am one of those.

Marco
02-05-07, 12:45
Nice use of the smilies there ;)

There's at least one of those in every company! Got to hate them...

Mike
02-05-07, 12:45
Whilst around him, develop your own deeply unpleasant personality - and save it just for him :)

Havard
02-05-07, 12:54
I am one of those.

No shit!!:d

Well youi did ask for it Dave......:)

H.

turbonut
02-05-07, 12:54
Whilst around him, develop your own deeply unpleasant personality - and save it just for him :)

He wouldnt notice any difference :innocent:

:D Kidding!

He exudes weirdness. Dya think he might be an alien? I could accidently 'trip' and stab him with the envelope opener and see if he bleeds green goo...:eyebrows:

ellis
02-05-07, 12:57
!. Sign him up to lots of gay chat lines, websites, medical disease sites etc etc.

2. Find a place around his desk/computer to hide a small piece of rotting fish!

3. Put an advert on a dubious dogging website and put his work number as a contact number!

4. Douse him in petrol and set him alight.

5. Spread very nasty rumours about him around the office.

6. Casually walk up to him, unzip your fly and proceed to urinate all over him. Zip back up, stare at him for a minute then turn casually around and walk back to your desk, never uttering a single word.

7. Nail his hands to his desk.

Nicholas
02-05-07, 12:58
Maybe he feels the same way about you? :innocent:

Havard
02-05-07, 13:00
I am one of those.

!. Sign him up to lots of gay chat lines, websites, medical disease sites etc etc.

2. Find a place around his desk/computer to hide a small piece of rotting fish!

3. Put an advert on a dubious dogging website and put his work number as a contact number!

4. Douse him in petrol and set him alight.

5. Spread very nasty rumours about him around the office.

6. Casually walk up to him, unzip your fly and proceed to urinate all over him. Zip back up, stare at him for a minute then turn casually around and walk back to your desk, never uttering a single word.

7. Nail his hands to his desk.

NO 6 Would take some doing as SHE is not equipped with that facility. Would pay to watch though!!:blink:

H.

ellis
02-05-07, 13:07
Women can stand up to pee - I've seen it on a DVD!!! :d

Havard
02-05-07, 13:10
Women can stand up to pee - I've seen it on a DVD!!! :d

Surely a hand stand would be a better and easier option!!;)

Care to lend any of those DVD's........:eyebrows:

H.

ellis
02-05-07, 13:15
Surely a hand stand would be a better and easier option!!;)
H.

Not nice, it would go up their noses!!:D

Phillw454
02-05-07, 13:15
I have exactly the same! A person i work with drives me mad, even where there not doing anything, usually there not, just avoiding work! Just them talking to someone else about something anoys me!!!

Think i need help:(

mk47
02-05-07, 13:16
Just them talking to someone else about something anoys me!!!

Think i need help:(

Jealousy is not a good thing :p

johnnyknox
02-05-07, 13:16
If you worked here Linda, I could plant some porn on his PC and tip off his boss for you. That would make his life unpleasant. :d

Phillw454
02-05-07, 13:19
Jealousy is not a good thing :p

:rlol:

Thought that was coming:p

turbonut
02-05-07, 13:57
NO 6 Would take some doing as SHE is not equipped with that facility. Would pay to watch though!!:blink:

H.

I could always stand on his head :p

turbonut
02-05-07, 13:59
If you worked here Linda, I could plant some porn on his PC and tip off his boss for you. That would make his life unpleasant. :d

;) :thumbs: cheers hun x

matt k
02-05-07, 14:08
What is the source of the rage?

Havard
02-05-07, 14:11
What is the source of the rage?

Actually, thinking about it Linda! This rage? It doesn't happen about once a month does it as my wife tends to go off on one at the same kind of frequency!!;)

Just a thought!!:D

H.

turbonut
02-05-07, 14:15
well, he has to disagree with everything (seemingly on principle):rolleyes: thinks he knows it all, talks over me/anyone :blahblah: and has a way of staring at me when he talks and invades my space :sly: ...eeew!! And is generally...well...repulsive :scared:

turbonut
02-05-07, 14:17
Actually, thinking about it Linda! This rage? It doesn't happen about once a month does it as my wife tends to go off on one at the same kind of frequency!!;)

Just a thought!!:D

H.

who me??? :noangel: sweetness and light always me m8 ;) lol

matt k
02-05-07, 14:21
well, he has to disagree with everything (seemingly on principle):rolleyes: thinks he knows it all, talks over me/anyone :blahblah: and has a way of staring at me when he talks and invades my space :sly: ...eeew!! And is generally...well...repulsive :scared:

If you mean he is invading your space in a pervy way then i would suggest a quick word with him and/or the Boss and explain that you feel uncomfortable, he and the Boss will both poo themselves at the thought of a tribunal on grounds of sexual harassment, go to ACAS.co.uk and take a look the whole set up is very biased towards women in the work place and your Boss should know that.

The other option is to ignore him and when he asks why you're being quiet then unleash exactly how you feel about him.

lust2luv
02-05-07, 14:22
I've seen this in Hollywood movies. You probably fancy him.

:looney:

turbonut
02-05-07, 14:27
I've seen this in Hollywood movies. You probably fancy him.

:looney:

eughh...pass the sick bucket...:blink: I mean, he drives a v@uxall @rsetra...:p

lust2luv
02-05-07, 14:39
Yep, definitely in denial! :p

:looney:

turbonut
02-05-07, 14:42
Yep, definitely in denial! :p

:looney:

I have a friend in wiltshire, next time I'm passing....:spank:

:D lol

Hey ho, cant expect to get along with everyone in life I guess, will just be polite to his face whilst thinking 'you complete kn@b end' and keep the paper knife handy just in case....:eyebrows:

jimjon
02-05-07, 14:43
i know the feeling, i used to work with someone that annoyed the fcuk out of me, in the end every little thing they do irritates you :lol:

i don't work there anymore so am alright now