View Full Version : Club Competition #2
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
paul ashton
24-02-07, 00:19
countdown 9
moistfinger
24-02-07, 00:19
Signs That You are Too Drunk
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Your job is interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.
Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor..
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in..
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
I'm as sober as a judge.
The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night.
*chokes up*
I'm become attached.
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:19
And Breath.... :)
Thank God for that :)
Who won?? ;)
RobSheffield
24-02-07, 00:19
Odd the forum cant keep up can it, keeps creating a new page after it goes waaaaay past the max posts for one page
Its like it gets surprised
Poor forum :(
stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop
so i got the last post in
Elvis has left the buiding.... Its over baby
http://www.acc.umu.se/~zqad/cats/1161382095-1160262190890.jpg
Now is the time for this picture :D i peaked 2 early
paul ashton
24-02-07, 00:19
countdown 8
just stop - it is over 1500 - mr. Mawby - who won eh?
nah, i cant stop now! got the bug!
well its been fun but my god i have to hit the sack
moistfinger
24-02-07, 00:20
me me me ?
me too, but i wanna know if i won!
102+ pages not bad for a couple of hours
That is not the true eye!!!!
(Just in for the post count now)
paul ashton
24-02-07, 00:21
countdown 7
Who won ?? ADMIIN??? sorry, i'm little drunk :P
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:21
my nipples are tingling with anticipation... who won?
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!
i giv up
Your 1111th post!
paul ashton
24-02-07, 00:22
countdown 6
il post up a pic of my todger if you tell us whos won
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!
Give it up grandad, it's over!
could the admin do a mass pm to let us know the result? im not sure i will remember this in the morning:)
RobSheffield
24-02-07, 00:22
How do you find out what percentage of repliers was by whom?
do we have a winner yet????
please let it be me, i never win anything:(
this thread is so long you'd think it was a new female member saying hello with a loaf of bread on her head!
paul ashton
24-02-07, 00:24
countdown 5
we will all know soon i am sure. Thinking not tonight thou
Yep, it's all over, we have a winner :)
this thread is so long you'd think it was a new female member saying hello with a loaf of bread on her head!
lmao
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:24
The votes have been counted....
And the winner is......
Yep, it's all over, we have a winner :)
who???????????????????
paul ashton
24-02-07, 00:25
who???????????????????
Me?
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:25
it's sooo exciting - much better odds than the lottery....
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:26
Do I get to choose glass or plastic :) :) :)
I refuse to post again..... Wait this is a post. :innocent:
Do I get to choose glass or plastic :) :) :)
Lol
cmon! the suspense is killing me!
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:27
what are the odds that it'll be a really weird post... lol
:) jees this still going :rolleyes:
Cheers
Ian
what are the odds that it'll be a really weird post... lol
I'd be surprised if it wasn't!!
ok wheres homer gone!!!!!
I hope someone who really needs them wins and not some rich person with 8 sets already.
im off to bed now someone text me on 07920067766 to let me know if ive won or not :)
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:31
I was desperately trying to think of clever film quotes... lol -
can guarentee that if i win it'll be the post about my nipples :)
I hope someone who really needs them wins and not some rich person with 8 sets already.
That's me out then :(
I hope someone who really needs them wins and not some rich person with 8 sets already.
Thats not fair, I only have 6 sets :D
Mawby will be along at some point to announce the winner :)
some point! right, im out, just quickly put a reminder in my phone.......
oh im gonna have to go to bed. im knackerd :(
im off to bed now someone text me on 07920067766 to let me know if ive won or not :)
Right people, lets keep matlee up all night with prank "you've won" type calls. :eyebrows:
Mawby will be along at some point to announce the winner :)
ah teasing us now.
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:33
I hope someone who really needs them wins and not some rich person with 8 sets already.
That's me :) I'm totally skint and I really need some of Jons lights to finnish my exterior to perfection!!! ;)
I also have a small orphaned kitten who really needs me to have them too :)
Right people, lets keep matlee up all night with prank "you've won" type calls. :eyebrows:
that sounds great,how long till he really gets pis*ed off
:) Yeah the bed is calling me too !
Cheers
Ian
Give it up grandad, it's over!
oooh, touch a nerve? :D ;)
Ive gotta use these jokes sometime :D:innocent:
Who won? ooh the tension ....
that sounds great,how long till he really gets pis*ed off
Or turns his phone off? :p
mawby aint even on here,so we prob wont find out till the morning
oooh, touch a nerve? :D ;)
Ive gotta use these jokes sometime :D:innocent:
Who won? ooh the tension ....
Yes, the nerve that reminds me of old pervy men. It's not a nice one. :p
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:36
I guess Mawbs has got to check that the winner isn't disqualified...
RobSheffield
24-02-07, 00:37
I guess Mawbs has got to check that the winner isn't disqualified...
He would have to be online to do that :p
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 00:39
good point :)
NOOOOOOO!!!! bloody work!!
Yes, the nerve that reminds me of old pervy men. It's not a nice one. :p
Im younger than you are :tongue: ;)
i cant see how a joke about a blonde can be pervy
Im younger than you are :tongue: ;)
i cant see how a joke about a blonde can be pervy
Add it to the rest of the *random women jokes* you've posted throughout this thread and you'll begin to paint a picture. :p
I spy with my little eye !
I spy with my little eye !
Put that thing away
He would have to be online to do that :p
You wouldn't be able to tell if he was online or not. ;)
I expect that the winner will be anounced over the weekend.
:)
Add it to the rest of the *random women jokes* you've posted throughout this thread and you'll begin to paint a picture. :p
just becuase some had sexual innuendo's in them doesnt make them pervy at all. They were all amusing, so i thought id share them, besides, i had nothing better to cut and paste :D If they were about men you wouldnt be complaining ;) i can post a few men ones up too if it helps ... :innocent:
some people just dont appreciate a good ol'joke :d
Last joke before i go read all the other threads...:d
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for
witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
Why are cyclones and tornados usually named after women?
Because they don’t come very often but when they do come, they make a hell of a noise and when they go, they take half your house with them
WHY CAN’T YOU TRUST WOMEN?
How can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die?
WHY DO MEN FART MORE THAN WOMEN?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure
WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE THEIR WIVES?
They want to.
WHY DO WOMEN CLOSE THEIR EYES DURING SEX?
They can’t stand to see a man having a good time.
WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
Because they don’t have balls.
WHY DO WOMEN WEAR MAKE UP & PERFUME?
Because they’re ugly and they smell.
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone
WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN A WOMAN IS PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN?
Marriage.
Yeah add a couple of 'men' ones in there would you? :rolleyes: :p
Yeah add a couple of 'men' ones in there would you? :rolleyes: :p
They were out my women joke file :senile: You gotta admit, theres some funny ones ... ;) :D
I'll find some men jokes, just for you :hug:
That must've taken you ages to do all that..
Last joke before i go read all the other threads...:d
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for
witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
LOL good one :p
Reet guys n gals im away to my pit got work in the morning aaaaarrrggghhhh !!
Cheers
Ian
Thought this would have been won by now :)
toyotasuprauk
24-02-07, 01:24
Cant believe it jumped up to this many replies so quick!
Can't be assed to read all the pages, so who won??
:search: so who won then? :search:
To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
Bahh you goto bed because you have to be up for work early......
did anyone win or is it still a rumbling??
Whitesupraboy2
24-02-07, 08:50
The winner is............. I'll let Mawby say when he is on but well done everyone you hit 1500 posts very quickly. Dont you people have anything better to do with your time! :p
Congratulations to the winner :)
Dont you people have anything better to do with your time! :p
Congratulations to the winner :)
No :(
I am sooooooo tired now. and still no results, lol.
ohwell back to my Shreddies and Spongebob Squarepants.
Is it worth posting now? Has the winner been decided or is it yet be?
H.
supra matt
24-02-07, 09:04
did i win ?
mikeyb10supra
24-02-07, 09:33
what did I miss
what did I miss
You really need to read the last 108 pages to get the whole story...:)
Only 41 pages on my browser..... You should increase the amount of posts visible per page in your control panel. ;)
Only 41 pages on my browser..... You should increase the amount of posts visible per page in your control panel. ;)
you learn something new every day :thumbs:
The winning post has been reached. I just need to check that the winner hasn't been disqualified. The winner will be announced shortly. :)
Congratulations to the winner
:trophy: markymark :trophy:
Posts made by markymark included 10, 23, 32, 60, 69, 76, 94, 134, 254, 315, 813, 890, 910, 946, 975, 1040, 1096 (http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showpost.php?p=1279340&postcount=1096), 1194, 1270, 1318, 1360, 1403, 1459, 1624
Verification of the winning number:
52434
i was 1095 :(
well done mark :)
Congratulations mark :trophy:
congrats mate,seems like i wasted 4 hours of my life last night
no seriously - I never win nothing hahaha all the pointless spamming was worth it then! Anyone for that glass of whisky then? Cheers :thumbs:
nice one dude. will ya have um fitted for tommorow? lol
Lukeyboy2k
24-02-07, 11:04
I was 1097. Never mind - congrats Mark. ;)
I was really annoyed because I lost my connection soon after, but I guess it didn't matter in the end. :sly:
Congrats Mark!! I gave up in the mid 800's and went to bed. It is good to see people with no life and nothing better to do being rewarded in this way.!!
What are you going to do with your new lights??:rolleyes:
H.
paul ashton
24-02-07, 11:12
Well done matey
Well done Mark! :D Ow well was going to DIY mine or pay jon todo them anyway! Still was fun doing the competition look forward to the next one :)
Gratz Mark. Enjoy your new lights fella.
Just 3 posts away.
flukey-lukey
24-02-07, 12:03
Well done Mark, have fun with the new lights :)
What are you going to do with your new lights??:rolleyes:
H.
I have not got a clue yet.
Thanks everyone else.:p
R3DG3CKO ROB
24-02-07, 12:47
Well done Mark :)
Congrats mate! And thanks to the fun last night I'm not hungover today! :)
Well done Mark :clap:
what did you win? :p
johnnyknox
25-02-07, 21:38
Yep, well done mate :)
mikeyb10supra
27-02-07, 10:27
:d :) well done mark nice little treat for your motor
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