View Full Version : Club Competition #2
johnnyknox
23-02-07, 18:23
Overhaulin'
Adrienne Janic or Courtney Hansen?
http://www.adriennejanic.com
http://www.courtneyhansen.com
Courtney is a bit more "hands on" and seems to be a car enthusiast, Adrienne seems to be scripted eye candy...
They did an awesome truck on that last night!!
I wish they would do my Supra...the paint jobs are something else!!! :blink:
The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old cannons like the ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off... thus the saying.
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
They did an awesome truck on that last night!!
They are doing a Hummer at the moment:
http://www.overhaulin.com/gallery.asp?target=77
Pics of most of the cars on http://www.overhaulin.com
supra matt
23-02-07, 18:26
anyone won yet?
we have cracked 500. Just another 500 to go.
Chris and Alana
23-02-07, 18:28
Il join in :d
A 1999 survey of 25,500 standard English-language dictionary words found that 93 percent of them have been registered as dot-coms.
What's a diaphragm?
A trampoline for d*ckheads
All polar bears are left handed.
Maybe.
johnnyknox
23-02-07, 18:30
we have cracked 500. Just another 500 to go.
hmm, not sure about that mate...might be much more :search:
It's against the law in Chicago to eat in a place that is on fire.
hmm, not sure about that mate...might be much more :search:
This is very true :(
"... Chess nuts, boasting, in an open foyer."
More than 2500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products
What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush!!
anyone won yet?
Did you read the first post?
My friend, whilst describing female parts, won't say flaps in front of her mum and dad. However she will say co*k and balls. :blink:
'Jacques Your Body' by Les Rythmes Digitales which was the tune to the cool Citreon transformer add, was also the tune to a Sunny Delight advert back in 1999.
Learn something new everyday :thumbs:
can you give us a clue to the range od te NO. like last time Mawby?
and women dont like the word Moist!!!!
downimpact
23-02-07, 18:37
:taped: :burp: :flame: :diablo: :vamp: :notwork:
In Texas it is illegal to have sex with a fish, in Florida it is illegal to get a fish drunk. North Carolina thought both laws were good so it is illegal to have sex with a drunk fish there
How is a woman like a road?
Both have manholes
R3DG3CKO ROB
23-02-07, 18:38
there was a bluetit on my window sil earlier!!!
529 posts!
Think I'll check back on Sunday!
Why do women take so long to get ready?
I want a beer!
can you give us a clue to the range od te NO. like last time Mawby?The first post says it is between 1000 and 1500.
A Chinese couple is in bed. The husband says he wants 69. His wife says, "Why you want Beef and Broccoli now?"
"Day after day, day after day,
we stuck nor breath nor motion
as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean
Water, water everywhere and
all the boards did shrink
Water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink."
Apparently I'm not allowed to play, despite Keith no longer being a mod and having no idea what the winning post number is :cry:
The first post says it is between 1000 and 1500.
oops!
Well i can guarantee this thread will start to see a lot more activity from about 900+ posts....
So some of us have to get it there first! :)
Apparently I'm not allowed to play, despite Keith no longer being a mod and having no idea what the winning post number is :cry:If you did win Faye it would look very suspicious that Keith left the mods team the same day the competition started. :(
But hopefully we will have more prizes to give away soon and you'll be able to enter into any of them now.
You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as a meat substitute
R3DG3CKO ROB
23-02-07, 18:52
Hmmmnnnn
W.T.F.???
I have about 3 hours kip and you've only moved on about 150 posts.!!
I am never going to get my lights (that don't fit) at this rate!
H.
Well i think everyone has disappeared, to come back later on!
I've just run out of things to talk about.... seems like the others have too! :(
how long does this run 4?
my soup just exploded in the microwave :(
my soup just exploded in the microwave :(
How does Soup explode??? Must be like a mini-tidal wave :)
Unless of course, you put it in the microwave while still in the tin...... :blink: lol
Edit: Well I've just screwed up lol, but it's not like I've got a Supra anyway :(
Now you may disqualify me ;)
The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old cannons like the ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off... thus the saying.
Not true.
Summary of the eRumor
This piece of alleged history explains that in the olden days of sailing ships, cannon balls were stacked on the decks on brass plates called "monkeys." The plates had indentions in them that held the balls on the bottoms of the stacks. Brass, however, expands and contracts with the temperature and if it got cold enough, the cannon balls could fall...giving real foundation to the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!"
The Truth
According to the United States Navy Historical Center, this is a legend of the sea without historical justification. The center has researched this because of the questions it gets and says the term "brass monkey" and a vulgar reference to the effect of cold on the monkey's extremities, appears to have originated in the book "Before the Mast" by C.A. Abbey. It was said that it was so cold that it would "freeze the tail off a brass monkey." The Navy says there is no evidence that the phrase had anything to do with ships or ships with cannon balls.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire
Lukeyboy2k
23-02-07, 19:14
Almost 100 posts since I was here last........................................................................I reckon there will be a graveyard shift going on tonight.
Seven deadly sins
Seven ways to win
Seven holy paths to hell
And your trip begins
Seven downward slopes
Seven bloodied hopes
Seven are your burning fires
Seven your desires....
How does Soup explode??? Must be like a mini-tidal wave :)
Unless of course, you put it in the microwave while still in the tin...... :blink: lol
dunno!
2 and a half mins at full heat. 2 mins 15 seconds into it i hear a big bang!
open the door and the inside of the microwave is plasterd with spicey sausage and tomato soup!
ate the rest of it that was in the bowl, i now have a warm fuzzy feeling inside. almost as if the microwaves are cooking me from the inside :blink:
Great prize i could really do with a set of these :)
downimpact
23-02-07, 19:17
Seven deadly sins
Seven ways to win
Seven holy paths to hell
And your trip begins
Seven downward slopes
Seven bloodied hopes
Seven are your burning fires
Seven your desires....
Maiden :eyebrows:
Lemmings.
Are we just naming computer games at random now?
Ok then Commando C64!!
H.
Still looks like a long way to go.
I'll help bump the numbers up even though I'm going to miss the magic number
johnnyknox
23-02-07, 19:22
The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you'll have a bad dream.
again, come on now, full speed to the magic 1000
downimpact
23-02-07, 19:26
Is the at least 5 rule, actually equal to 5 or do you have to have 6 people post inbetween then?? :search:
Anyone been to this place? Thinking of getting mine done!
http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/7246/dickcleanerszi7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
H.
Has Keith retired then? Or did he fail to meet his quota of locked posts and get the boot?
;)
Is the at least 5 rule, actually equal to 5 or do you have to have 6 people post inbetween then?? :search::conf: There needs to be at least 5 posts, so that's 5, or 6, or 7, or 8, or..... you get the idea.
Lukeyboy2k
23-02-07, 19:31
I feel like I'm in a real club now. All posting messages for the slim chance of some lights, but hey I've read some quality posts on this thread. Keep up the good work. Now I'm home the internet connection is looking a little dodgy. :(
Has Keith retired then? Or did he fail to meet his quota of locked posts and get the boot?
;)Keith no longer has the time to devote and so has decided to step down. We will start looking for a replacement soon but we're having trouble working out exactly what Keith did. :d
need to get this over 1k before bedtime ;)
so then. here we are then.
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 19:35
hehe, sounds fun!
R3DG3CKO ROB
23-02-07, 19:35
Knock Knock...
downimpact
23-02-07, 19:40
:innocent:
just checking in to see what post we're on :D
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 19:40
and thats more than 5 posts, so heres me again :D
Keith no longer has the time to devote and so has decided to step down. We will start looking for a replacement soon but we're having trouble working out exactly what Keith did. :d
I'd like first dibbs if no-one has any problems with that.
no where near a winner yet then?
Whats the difference between a constipated owl and a cross eyed cowboy??
H.
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 19:45
and thats another 5...lol... come on lets get it to 1000 so we can all start getting excited!!
no where near a winner yet then?Well you are now over the half way mark so the end is getting closer.
Approx 600 threads and no-one has started on mkivstore yet!
I'd like first dibbs if no-one has any problems with that.
I have a problem with it
tick tock tick tock......
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 19:51
Woop Woop!
I have a problem with it
...and what would that be then?
Man walks into a bar and sits on a stool right next to a woman on her own. After a couple of minutes the guy turns to the woman and asks "Can I smell your fanny!"
Disgusted the woman replies "Certainly Not!!"
They guy then says "Well it must be your feet then!!":d
I'm here all week, remember to tip your waitress!!
H.
...and what would that be then?
This is the problem:
http://bananabunker.com/
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 19:57
getting bored.... must recruit more members to reach 1000 posts before bedtime....
downimpact
23-02-07, 19:59
:cool:
:d :cool: :rolleyes: :search:
You need to set your stall out.
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 20:04
^^^what he said
Well my chinese will be arriving soon, but I'll be back later to see if we have a winner.
Oh refurbed lights! Mine~!
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
100 green bottles, siting on the wall,
100 green bottles, siting on the wall,
and if 1 green bottle should accidently fall,
they'll be 99 green bottles sitting on the wall............
(carry it on people)
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 20:11
Come on guys post more...lets get this going!!!!!!
toyotasuprauk
23-02-07, 20:12
Uk-rich whos the girl in your avator?
downimpact
23-02-07, 20:13
- Hey look, what are all those people doing down there gathered round that giant pizza?
-Errr sir, that's not a giant pizza.
where's it from anyone?
not sure, it was discussed not long ago
Time for some humorous pics I think....
I thinlk it's official that Uk Rich is our most random poster!
I have tried to trace his posts but they are as mad a cheese.:D
H.
i can help you out though
Just found this....
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
There go my travelling plans! :p
im not bothered, i have a1 glass head lights
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 20:16
im out, im glad
Why?
Just found this....
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
There go my travelling plans! :p
bugger
flukey-lukey
23-02-07, 20:19
sod it im going out! life is too short to worry about new headlights!!! mine are still ok from when Jon did them last year anyway :D
bye people! have fun!
downimpact
23-02-07, 20:23
:p
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
SupraStar 3000
23-02-07, 20:23
My friend, whilst describing female parts, won't say flaps in front of her mum and dad. However she will say co*k and balls. :blink:
:rlol: thats going in my sig!
and there is no i in team
Another Big Brother pic!! These should go in the Jade Goody thread!!
52385
52386
H.
yea, bit of organisation called for
there is an 'I' in minge tho
*Mexican accent*
Lights ? Lights ?
We don't need no stinking lights
:d
there is an 'I' in minge tho
can you say more, not for a couple of posts you can't :p
One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers.
"I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second"
So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away.
The CEO says "We don't approve of womanizing!"
The guy says "Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while your winking"
lorrilambkin
23-02-07, 20:30
im in.better late than never:innocent:
I think Stella is evil.
Stella who?
One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers.
"I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second"
So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away.
The CEO says "We don't approve of womanizing!"
The guy says "Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while your winking"
LOL!!
This is actually gonna take all night. Think I'm gonna go the pub, come back in 3 hours and claim the glory! Oh, and some free lights would be nice too :)
Stella from enders, which I hasten to add I never watch. I caught the last 10 mins of it and she did that weird face that evil people do just before it cut to the end credit.
Stella from enders, which I hasten to add I never watch. I caught the last 10 mins of it and she did that weird face that evil people do just before it cut to the end credit.
aah right, I don't watch TV let alone eastbenders. My mums called Stella...
Stella from enders, which I hasten to add I never watch. I caught the last 10 mins of it and she did that weird face that evil people do just before it cut to the end credit.
Terrible acting and not convincing at all. You wouldn't guess she's Emma Thompson's sister in a month of Sundays.
While you're all here, what headunit would you all recommend with a £150 budget...stretchable to £200 if it's worth it!
Scruffy Billy Jokes (1 of 3)
One day in class, the teacher announces that they are to have a word competition. The word the class must use in a sentence is "Certainly".
Little Mary starts with her sentence. "Apples are certainly green!" Very good says the teacher, but they can also be red!
Little Jonny says "Banana's are certainly yellow!" Very good says the teacher, but they can also be green or black.!!
Scruffy Billy is desperate to have a go but the teacher says no as he'll be rude!
Little Molly says "Miss, Tigers are certainly orange!" Very good says the teacher but they are also black.!!
Scruffy Billy eventually blurts out "Miss, Miss, Do Farts Have Lumps In Them?? The teacher says No Billy!!
Scruffy Billy replies "Then Miss, I have certainly shat in my pants!!:D
H.
finding some really old tunes on my PC while i wait. Some nice and funky ones and ones I really do not know why i bought them.
Chris and Alana
23-02-07, 20:47
seen as the posts need to go up abit il ask this here instead of in the chat section but you dont need to answer. Anyway here goes
Has anyone used the Miami GT front mount intercooler? Im thinking of changing my dodgy stocker but dont know whethet to replace it with a SMIC or a nice FMIC. Oh and is it a 2 row or a 3? I know I could use the 'search' but it might help with post numbers, well 1 extra so far :)
aah right, I don't watch TV let alone eastbenders. My mums called Stella...
Yeah, I was talking about your mum. :d
i bet the post pop up quicker when it gets past 1000
I have a Trust one so no idea
seen as the posts need to go up abit il ask this here instead of in the chat section but you dont need to answer. Anyway here goes
Has anyone used the Miami GT front mount intercooler? Im thinking of changing my dodgy stocker but dont know whethet to replace it with a SMIC or a nice FMIC. Oh and is it a 2 row or a 3? I know I could use the 'search' but it might help with post numbers, well 1 extra so far :)
not used one, but seen one, the quality looks good
anyone got some good vids we can watch?
Scruffy Billy Joke Round 2!!
One day in class the teacher announces that today is farm yard noise day and to get extra stars the kids must demonstrate their knowledge of animals.
Little Mary starts "Moo Miss" Well done little Mary was that a Cow? "Yes Miss". Little Annie goes "Baaa Baaa Miss!!"
Well done says the teacher, was that a Sheep? "Yes Miss."
Scruffy Billy is bouncing at the back of the class with his arm in the air, "MISS MISS". The teacher replies "No Billy, you'll say something rude!! "But I live near a farm Miss!!" Billy argues!!
The teacher continues, Little Mickey goes "Oink Oink, Miss" Well done Little Mickey, were you a pig!!
Eventually Scruffy Billy gets a go!! The teacher says, go on then Billy whats your farm yard noise then?
Billy shouts at the top of his voice..... "HEY YOU!! GET OFF THAT FU*KING TRACTOR!!":d
H.
The Man's Dictionary.
1. Fine
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to describe how she looks. It will lead to one of the arguments mentioned above.
2. Five minutes
These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade
3. Nothing
The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine".
4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."
5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". It is normally precedes by a few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead", followed by "nothing" and "fine". She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"!
7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. Oh
This word - followed by any statement - heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run - do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
9. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan it out, you're in for some mighty big trouble.
10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."
11. Thanks
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome".
12. Thanks A Lot
"Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks". A woman will say "thanks a lot" then she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing".
h, were you scruffy billy?:d
h, were you scruffy billy?:d
Sorry Allan, I have not got any LOL's so I'm going on strike until we get over 1000 posts!!
H.
Just to confirm...
These are pre facelift plastic j-spec headlights refurbed as standard ie no painting or modding inside.
Just to confirm...
These are pre facelift plastic j-spec headlights refurbed as standard ie no painting or modding inside.
sounds good to me. Give
These are pre facelift plastic j-spec headlights refurbed as standard ie no painting or modding inside.
I suppose I could always sell them to a fellow member. :d
Oh well time to get disqualified then!!
Yep, definitely!!!:blink:
Just Making Sure I'm Disqualified!!:D
Can't believe Iam doing this on a friday night
think you are now h, oh and heres your lol
Lukeyboy2k
23-02-07, 21:10
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."
Cheers!! I live for LOLS!!
Oh and I have a facelift car anyway!!:p
H.
This is very boring!
I'm sure it won't take long to get from 1000 to 1500 though.
Chris and Alana
23-02-07, 21:12
seed?
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."
quality never heard that before
I'm sure someone will PM me and tell me who won!! I'm off to bed again!!
Smell you all later!!
H.
Can I win them for someone else?
is there a picture of these?
I think I'll come back later when you lot have brought it up to 1000, I can't be bothered.
I dont really need them , but if they're free! :p
.. .-- .. --- --- .-- .. -.
morse code
wow... how many threads do we have to get too? or is it a time limit?
Lukeyboy2k
23-02-07, 21:25
anyone for Gears of War?
How much is an xboxlive subscription for the 360? I'm a bit out of touch nowadays.
How much is an xboxlive subscription for the 360? I'm a bit out of touch nowadays.
are these things still breaking down
wow... how many threads do we have to get too? or is it a time limit?
between 1000-1500
downimpact
23-02-07, 21:28
:tongue:
Once again these competitions take place when I'm working late First chance I get to see it now.
Mike
cant be bothered reading, has anyone one?
Once again these competitions take place when I'm working late First chance I get to see it now.
Mike
dont worry weve got ages yet till the posts really count
cant be bothered reading, has anyone one?
the winning post will be between 1000 and 1500
Chris and Alana
23-02-07, 21:40
What does 'BUMP' actually mean?
What does 'BUMP' actually mean?
Bumping Up My Post??? dunno just made that up
i suppose it means what it says, bumping the thread to the top of the pile
Where did people go back to before drawing boards were invented?
Where did people go back to before drawing boards were invented?
bed or the pub
Lets all take guesses at which numner between 1000-1500 it will be....
I reckon 1111
Lukeyboy2k
23-02-07, 21:51
REPOST?
A Bloke in Australia walks up to the bar with a big ostrich behind him, and as he sits, a small cat jumps up on the stool beside him. The barman comes over, regarding the trio with some curiosity, and says, "What'll it be?"
The man says," I'll have a pint," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have a pint as well," says the ostrich. Bloke looks at the cat, and says, "I suppose you want a drink too." "The cat replies, "I'll have a half, but I ain't fookin' payin'!"
So the barman pulls two and a half pints, and says, "That'll be three pounds forty, please." The man reaches into his pocket, feels around, and, to the barman's surprise, pulls out exactly the three-forty in change.
A while later, the same thing happens, and the man pulls the exact amount out of the same pocket. The next day, the man, the ostrich, and the cat return to the same bar. "I'll have a pint," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich, and the cat orders up a half ... "But I ain't fookin' payin'!" Repeat of yesterday. The bloke pays each time with the exact amount from his pocket.
This becomes almost a regular routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.
"The same?" asks the barman. "Well," says the man, "it's close to last orders. I'll have a large scotch." He turns to the ostrich inquiringly. The bird says, "I'll have a large scotch as well." The cat says, "I'll have a small scotch ... but I ain't fookin' payin'!"
The barman rings up the drinks and turns, with a sly grin, "That'll be seven pounds twenty, please." To his amazement, the man pulls the exact seven & twenty out of his pocket.
As the trio are finishing their drinks, the barman can contain his curiosity no longer. "Excuse me, sir, but before you leave there's something I must know ... how do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket...every time?"
"Well," says the man, "it's a long story. But basically, several years ago I took care of an old lady well into her nineties, and when she died, she left me her old house. Nothing special, but as I was cleaning out the attic, I found an old lamp, and when I rubbed it, this genie appeared and offered me two wishes."
That's fantastic," says the barkeep, "what did you wish for?"
"Well, if I ever need to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right money will always be there."
"That's brilliant" says the barman, "most people would wish for a million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live."
"That's right, whether its a quart of milk or even a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there. The best thing I ever did!"
As he turns to go, the barman calls him back and says, "One last thing, sir... err, your friends there ... we don't get many cats or ostriches drinkin' in 'ere...?"
The man looks glum. "Yes, I know. That's probably the worst thing I ever did, but I'm stuck with 'em. You see, for my second wish from the genie, I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."
Post 1371 will win.
Its 1285, didn't you know that?
Chris and Alana
23-02-07, 21:53
I think it will be my number :d (dont know what yet)
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